Life Cycles VIII: In the Name of the Father
Date: Thu, 01 Jan 1998 
From: Vickie Moseley

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ 
Summary: With permission of Susan Proto, another in the Life
Cycles Series. Scully realizes how important her religion is to her.
Ratings: G
Category: V slight A extremely MSR (they're married, OK!?)
Disclaimer: First, let me thank Susan Proto for letting me us the
Life Cycles Series. Next, as always, I'm not infringing on the
copyright of 10-13, but both Susan and I hope you guys will at least
give this direction some thought. Could be fun. You wanna do it,
you know it.
Notes: I've been the happy editor of the Life Cycles series since
Susan came up with the idea, and when she showed me 'Eight
Days', I came up with this one. Gratefully, she wasn't offended or
put off, but instead encouraged me completely. This one is for her.
If you haven't read the rest of this series, what planet have you
been on!? Go do it right now or you're gonna be really confused!
Comments: vmoseley@fgi.net 
Life Cycles IX
In the Name of the Father
by Vickie Moseley
vmoseley@fgi.net 
Fox Mulder awoke to a sound he hadn't heard in months. The
quiet sound of his wife sobbing. 
His heart clenched in his chest, he was on his feet and running into
the nursery before he even realized that he had left the bed. The
sound had come from that room and it could mean only one
thing--something was wrong with Adam. 
He rounded the corner to the room, slamming his hip hard into the
door casing, but not registering the pain. The only pain he could
feel was in his own soul. What if something was wrong? God
wouldn't take Adam, too, would he-- 
He skidded to a stop when his wife looked up at him, questioning
his arrival. The scene before him looked oh so normal. His infant
son, now a month old, lay cradled in Dana's arms, vigorously
suckling at her breast. His tiny fist was wrapped around her finger,
claiming possession, now and forever. 
Mulder returned her curious look. "Dane, honey, I thought I heard
you crying," he said, dropping to his knees before her to place a
gentle kiss on his son's dark hair. It never ceased to make him
smile, the sight of his son getting sustenance from his wife. It was
so earthy, so heady, . . . so downright sexy. He bit his lip to banish
that particular thought. Two more weeks, his mind chanted. Just
two more weeks. I did four and a half years without any sex to
speak of, I can do two more weeks, he told himself. Parts of his
anatomy reminded him that it might be harder than he thought. 
His wife's sniffle brought his mind away from his own desires.
"Sweetheart, what is it? It's not Adam, is it?" 
She looked almost shocked. "No!" she assured him. "No, it's not
Adam. He's fine, Sweetheart," she said with a gentle smile and
reached over to caress her husband's cheek. "He's perfect." 
"Then why were you crying?" Mulder repeated. He knew it had
been hard on her. The birth hadn't been complicated, but she'd
been in labor for almost 24 hours. He'd gone close to crazy, seeing
her in pain for that long. And the pushing had seemed to rip her
apart. Dana seemed not to remember any of, but Mulder's perfect
recall repeated the entire scene over and over again in his mind, in
glorious Technicolor. Of course, it also replayed what came next.
The sight of his son's head as it crowned, then his little dark hair
was completely visible. The shoulder's came next and the rest of
his tiny but perfect body. Mulder had been there to catch his son,
carry him into the world, and he saw the baby's gender even before
Dana knew. His son. His beautiful, beautiful boy. 
But Dana had been so tired. She'd slept for 12 hours after the
birth, an unheard of occurrence unless she was sick. All the times
she'd been sick, when they thought she was dying came rushing
back to him as he watched her, pale, disheveled, but peaceful.
When she woke up, her first thought was of the baby, which turned
out to be fortuitous, since Adam was more than ready to get better
acquainted with parts of his mother that his father had already
discovered. 
She'd been tired since they'd been home, but she kept telling him
she was fine. She was happy, that was for certain. He would catch
her singing to the baby, quiet songs in whispered notes. She was
really a good singer, when she thought her audience too young to
be critical. Mulder had treasured each of those moments when he'd
been allowed a stolen glimpse of the world of mother and son. 
So why on earth was she crying? 
"Dane, you're starting to scare me, here," Mulder said uneasily.
His hip was starting to let him know that the bruise he was getting
would not be a small one, and his ankles were groaning in protest
to the weight they were bearing. 
"It's silly. Really. Please, Fox, just go back to bed. He's almost
finished, I'll be in as soon as I tuck him in." The words were meant
to reassure, but the sound of her voice, so small and plaintive, told
him otherwise. He was positive now that nothing was wrong with
the baby. But something was bothering Dana and she didn't want
to burden him with it. 
He made no move to get up, but did settle completely to the floor.
Bones creaked and joints popped but he ignored them. "Got the
baby blues?" he asked, his eyes filled with concern. 
She shook her head furiously. "Never! I know what you're
thinking, Mulder, and I don't have Post Partum Depression. It's
something else, something entirely different." 
"Then just tell me. I'll put on my clinical psychologist hat and
pretend I know what I'm talking about," he grinned at her. Her
return smile warmed all the cold places of his heart. 
"You'll charge me 120 bucks and hour and I can't afford that. Too
many mouths to feed," she retorted. 
"Yeah, but one of them gets his meals for free," Mulder chuckled,
stroking Adam's head as the baby fell asleep with the nipple still
firmly in his mouth. 
Dana tenderly disengaged her son from her breast, using what
Mulder had come to call the 'unplug' method--inserting her little
finger between his mouth and her breast, breaking the suction.
There was a soft 'pop' and Adam pursed his lips, eyes clenched
tight, almost as if he was deciding to wake up and go for some
more. Finally, his mouth sucked of it's own accord, and the baby
fell deeper into sleep. 
One handed, she pulled up the cup of her nursing bra, connected it,
and covered herself with her pajama top. Mulder held back a moan
just watching her. With no effort, she lifted herself and the baby
out of the chair, walked softly over to the crib in the corner of the
room and laid the baby down. Still silently, she walked over to
where Mulder was still sitting on the floor and pulled him up. As
his face passed her, she kissed his nose, and smiled. "C'mon, as
long as you're up, I'll make us some cocoa." 
They were in the kitchen, two cups of instant cocoa in front of them
before she spoke again. She took his hand in hers, staring at it
intently. 
"Before I start, I want you to know one thing. I love you. Deeply,
completely, with all my heart and soul." She looked into his eyes
and he knew in his depths that every word was true. 
He smiled. "I think I figured it out," he smirked. 
" 'Bout time," she grinned back. 
"So, what is bothering you?" 
She sighed and took a draw off her cup. "I didn't think it would
bother me. I mean, sure, it's how I was raised and they always say
once a Catholic, always a Catholic--" 
"Dane, you aren't making a whole lot of sense, here," Mulder said
in confusion. "Is this about the Bris?" 
She chewed on his bottom lip. "Sort of. No, not really. Oh, hell,
Mulder, I don't know," she finally wailed. "I'm so confused, but it
hurts so much, you know. I want to do this right, I really, really
want to do this right and you're just finding your way, after all this
time, and I'm so happy for you, because I know you believe and
that gives me great joy and I know Nana is smiling at us, but--"
she'd completely run out of breath. She took a deep breath before
she continued. "But I can't help thinking that Daddy, Ahab, isn't
smiling as much." Tears started falling down her cheeks, and she
wiped at them angrily. 
The bottom fell out of his stomach. "You don't think he'd like it
that we had Adam circumcised according to Jewish law," he
murmured hesitantly. 
"No, actually, I think Ahab would have been very pleased about
that. At least Adam is known to God now, God sees him as one of
his own. Ahab never took any of us out of the house until we'd
been baptized. And, well, I sort of , uh, baptized Adam already,"
she said guiltily, staring hard at the wooden napkin holder on the
table. 
"Dana?" Mulder asked. "How?" he added with a shrug. 
She looked up at him, her soul open to him. "Oh, the nuns teach
you what to do. Suppose you stumble on someone who's been hit
by a car and they're dying and they wanted to be a Christian--" she
smiled at his attempts not to giggle at the image. "I know, it
sounds pretty ridiculous, doesn't it? But basically, you don't need a
priest or a church, you just make the sign of the cross on the
person. Don't even need holy water," she added sheepishly. "You
can use spit," she said, in a voice so low he could just barely make
it out. 
"You didn't use--" his look of utter disgust was enough to rush her
reply. 
"No, silly!" she laughed and tried hard to look offended. "I used
water. Plain, clear water. Same effect. It's the prayer, Mulder, not
the water, or whatever, that does the trick." 
"So why didn't you tell me? Why did you feel you had to keep it a
secret?" he asked, still trying to figure out what was happening.
They'd decided not to keep secrets and this one seemed like a big
one. 
She shook her head and sighed again. "I don't know, really. You
know when you first brought up the Bris and I was sort of
resistent? Well, after you left, they brought Adam in for a feeding
and I did it then. I just couldn't stop myself, I wanted my baby to
be like me, Mulder. A Catholic. I don't think it's a horrible thing
to be. I love my family, I love my father, and I know he'd want me
to raise my son--" She stopped and bit her lip. "But he isn't 'my'
son, he's _our_ son. And I'm sorry if I hurt you by doing this." 
"Dane, tell me the truth. Would you like Adam baptized, for real,
in the Church with a priest and all the rest?" 
When she looked up at him, she didn't have to give voice to the
words. Her eyes did that for her. She nodded, tears streaking
down her cheeks which she chose to ignore. "But that's not the
point, Mulder. It's not just about what _I_ want anymore. It's
what _we_ want. You have to agree to this, and if you don't want
it, I understand. I do. I know what you said before, that Adam is
Catholic, but now I know how hard it really is, to give up on your
religion. I can't ask you to do that. I won't." 
He looked at her and his heart ached. "Dane, I can't ask you do to
that, either. Hey, I'm new at this. I still haven't gotten the nerve to
attend Temple, yet. I'm hoping that I will, in the not too distant
future. But I know you've finally come back to your religion and I
won't take it away from you. I could never ask that." He chewed
on his bottom lip. "Is it breaking any laws, I mean, having a baby
being dedicated in two religions?" 
She laughed, the tears drying on her chin. "Not that I know of.
Federal law tends to side step that issue when it comes to it. And I
could ask Father McKuen. You could call Rabbi Ginsberg. Surely,
one of them can give us a firm answer." She gripped his hand more
tightly. "You mean you'd do this? You'd allow me to do this?" 
"You allowed me, didn't you?" he asked plainly. "I love you, I love
our son. What better gift could we give him than that part of us
that is greater than the sum of the whole?" 
"Don't think he's gonna get a little confused along the way? I
mean, Christmas and Hanukkah?" 
"More presents? I don't know a kid yet who refused an
opportunity to get more presents," Mulder assured her with a grin. 
"Passover and Easter, now there is a real hurtle," she pondered. 
"And we'll explain them both, so that he can understand. And in
the explaining, maybe we'll gain something, too. A deeper
understanding ourselves," Mulder said calmly. "One day he may
decide to chose one over the other. He may announce that he's
entering the priesthood or taking rabbinical studies. But he will be
the most understanding, ecumenical 'priest-slash-rabbi' on the face
of the planet." 
"Good material for a Pope," Scully grinned. "And then, he might
rebel and become Methodist," she said pointedly. 
"And we'll still love him," Mulder said firmly. 
"I still love you. More than I ever thought possible," she sighed. 
He leaned over to give her a kiss, but a giant yawn escaped her and
he ended up kissing her forehead instead. "We need to get you to
bed, my love. You've got a lot of phone calling to do in the
morning." 
She smiled at him and moved her hand up to touch his cheek. "But
first, I have a little surprise." 
"Not another surprise," he whined, fearing the worst. 
She couldn't hide the Cheshire Cat grin. "Oh, you're gonna like
this surprise, G-man. I talked to my new OB and she told me that if
I was feeling up to it--" her eyes finished the rest of the sentence.
He'd never seen a more hungry look in his life. 
His smile brightened the room. "Oh, brother! I think the question
is, Can my heart take it," he laughed and she pulled him to his feet,
leading him to their bedroom. 
"I'll be gentle on you, G-man. God knows, studs like you are hard
to find," she laughed. 
"Now, I know I'm in trouble. I thought Catholics were all
repressed," he teased. 
"You've had me in your bed for a year and a half, now G-man.
You tell me," she said seductively. 
"I'll tell you--I think I'm a very lucky man." 
the end.
Vickie 
Season's Greetings
Peace and Joy