Happiness: Hell Hath No Fury 
Author: shawntaw 
Category: MSR, Au 
Rating: PG 
Disclaimer: I wish I owned them. I wish I could call CPS (Character 
Protective Services) on CC and have them taken away. Then I could 
adopt them. (Ok, maybe I'm overreacting. We'll see...I'm still 
watching this Sunday. *sigh* Call me a glutton for punishment.) 
Anyway, regardless, not making any money on this. I do it strictly 
for the love, man. :) And I guess I should thank CC for thinking 
them up in the first place. Thank you. You're a genius. Now, FIX 
IT! 
Summary: Can Diana use Scully's insecurities to destroy the 
partnership? 
Feedback makes me very happy at shawntaw@hotmail.com :) 
TO DANI WHO HAS MADE A WEBSITE OF MY STORIES: 
www.geocities.com/corran_14776/shawntaw.html 
Thank you.:) 
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*The only thing that stinks about this plan is the not knowing.* 
Diana watched the two X-files agents walk into the small cafe' for 
lunch. She'd been loosely shadowing them for the two days since 
she'd planted the small 'clues' to Mulder's 'infidelity.' 
She looked for some sign that any of her 'plants' had been found, 
sighed and resigned herself to plow on with her plans despite lack of 
obvious progress. 
*Phase Two* 
She drove back toward the Hoover building and left them to their 
lunch. 
********************************************************************** 

Scully speared another dressing-soaked broccoli head on her fork and 
ate it lustily. 
*Mmm. Good salad.* 
Mulder watched her over his greasy burger with a small smile. Every 
since the cancer, he loved to watch her eat. It reminded him how 
healthy she was. 
She caught him looking. 
"What?" 
"Nothing. I was just thinking that salad looked good." 
"It is," she smiled at him and took another bite. 
"How's your burger, Mulder?" 
He realized he hadn't taken his first bite yet, so intent he was on 
watching her. 
"Oh," he took a large bite, chewed and swallowed, "very good." 
Her smile widened and she shook her head at him in amusement. 
"What's on your mind, Mulder?" 
He decided to change the subject. She didn't like to be reminded of 
her bout with cancer. 
"I was just thinking about this case in Kentucky." 
"We don't know if it is actually a case yet," Scully said, having 
snuck a look at the folder when he had left the basement on an errand 
the day before. 
"Touche'," he began again, "I was just thinking about this POSSIBLE 
case in Kentucky." 
He drizzled Ketchup over his fries, sprinkled them with black pepper 
and then shoved one in his mouth. 
"If a murder has been committed, then it would be a case," he 
continued. 
Scully snitched a fry, ate it and licked ketchup off her finger. 
"True, but its not much to go on. I mean, Mulder, it was never 
declared a crime at all. The couple just up and disappeared. For 
all we know they're running from bill collectors." 
Mulder had been distracted by her finger cleaning. 
"Um, you're right," he said, watching her pick up another fry. 
She paused. 
"What did you say?" 
"What?" he blinked at her. 
"Did you say I was right?" She punctuated her words with a limp, 
greasy fry. 
He looked at the fry she shook at him, reached out, stole it, and ate 
it. 
"Agent Scully, I think you are hearing things," he joked, snapping 
himself out of his distraction. 
"Right, Mulder," she said, quirking her lips at him, "must be an X- 
file. 
He pointedly did not look at her and continued eating his lunch. 
"So, you wanna come over tonight and go over the file some more?" 
She grinned at him. 
*Code: I miss you and want to goof off at my place tonight.* 
"Sure, I'll be there." 
********************************************************************** 

~~NEXT MORNING~~ 
Scully heard the comforting sounds of Mulder performing his usual 
work-day morning routine in the bathroom. 
She stretched and decided to lay there in his bed for a few minutes 
more. She was too comfortable to move. 
The shower cut off. 
Having Mulder's routine memorized, she shut her eyes and pictured him 
in the bathroom. 
*And now he's wrapping the towel around his waist...and now he's 
stepping up to the sink and getting ready to shave...* 
After a while, the door flung open and a cloud of fragrant steam was 
released into the cooler room. 
"Hey! You gonna lay there all day?" He smiled at her lazy, appraising 
look as he walked bare-footed and decked out in only a loose towel 
wrapped around his hips to the chest of drawers for some underwear. 
"I'm considering it," she rebutted and stretched again like a cat. 
Something barely pricked at her calf and she reached down absently 
under the covers to scratch it. 
"Is my spare suit and overnight bag still in the closet?" Scully said 
as she sighed and sat up. 
*Oh well, time to start the day* 
"Yep. Right where you left it, Ms. Efficiency," he jibed as he began 
to dress in the suit he'd already laid out. 
"Ha, ha," Scully said as she began to pull her legs from under the 
covers and put her feet on the floor. 
Something sharp poked her in the calf again. 
"Ow," she frowned and threw back the covers. 
"What?" Mulder said, turning her way. 
"I don't know. Something keeps poking my leg." 
She smoothed over the sheet with her hand. Finding nothing, she 
flipped over the comforter and began feeling along it as well. 
She found it and her heart stopped. 
Behind her, Mulder was whistling with contentment as he dressed. 
The earring had been apparently poked a small hole in the fluffy 
comforter and had worked its way almost completely into the filler. 
Only the tiny, sharp metal prongs surrounding the glimmering diamond 
(*fake? real?*) was exposed. 
It was a fluke she even found it. 
"What's wrong, Scully?" Mulder had come up behind her, drawn by her 
silence. 
She licked her lips, took a deep breath and turned around holding the 
earring in her palm. 
"Whose is this, Mulder?" She kept her voice even and met his 
astonished eyes calmly. 
His mouth was hanging open. "You found that in MY bed?" 
Scully closed her eyes. *Tell me you have a maid, Mulder. A bad 
maid, sure, but a maid nonetheless. Tell me a relative stayed over, 
Mulder...* 
She was trying out different scenarios in her head. Rational and 
easy explained reasons why a woman's earring had been in his bed and 
the scent of perfume in his car. 
She was trying desperately NOT to give in to the jealous, possessive 
Scully. 
"Yes, I found this in your bed. Would you like to tell me how it got 
there?" 
Again, this was said calmly. But as she opened her eyes, she could 
see she was not fooling Mulder. 
And he was furious. 
"The woman I'm having a torrid affair with was here last night. She 
must have lost it," His words dripped with incredulous sarcasm, "What 
do you think, Scully?! I don't know how that got there and you 
should know that!" 
Scully's lips compressed. 
"I'm sorry, Mulder, I didn't mean to jump to conclusions, but what am 
I supposed to think? I mean, first the perfume and now this-" 
"What perfume? And, by the way, your first thought should have been 
that there was no way in hell I would cheat on you. After all we've 
been through?! I mean, come on, Scully!" 
"The perfume in your car. There was recently some woman in your car, 
Mulder," she realized how incredibly clingy and lame that sounded. 
He was looking at her with his mouth open again. 
"Wha-?!" He couldn't even articulate. 
Scully flinched. This was bad. 
He turned suddenly and pushed his socked feet into his shoes. 
Without bothering to tie them, he grabbed his tye, jacket and 
briefcase. 
"Where are you going, Mulder?" Her voice was small and afraid. 
*I'm so stupid.* 
She berated herself mentally. 
"To work. Away from this," his gesture encompassed the whole 
situation. 
There would be no leisurely breakfast this morning. No kiss goodbye 
as they got in their separate cars and headed for the Hoover building. 
He stomped out of the bedroom before she could formulate a reply or 
plead with him to stay and work this out. 
The walls vibrated when he slammed the front door. 
Scully sat silently on the bed and contemplated the incriminating 
earring lying in the palm of her hand. 
*Maybe it was from before we made our committment. It could have 
been inside the hole in the comforter for months, only now working 
its way out. Why, WHY didn't I think of that before?!* 
She ran to the living room, to the window beside his desk and flung 
it open. 
There was Mulder, angrily marching down the front steps of his 
apartment building, keys already in hand. 
Scully started to call to him. 
She never had the chance. 
Scully watched as Mulder apparently stepped on his shoe lace, lost 
his balance and took a header down the concrete steps. 
"MULDER!" she screamed at him. 
He lay still, sprawled out on his back, limbs carelessly splayed and 
twisted from where he'd tried to stop his descent. 
His briefcase, jacket and keys lay around him in almost a perfect 
circle. 
His tye fluttered to rest on his chest. 
********************************************************************** 

Diana felt herself go pale as she gasped. 
*Easy girl. This is not your fault.* 
But even as she thought it, she knew it wasn't true. 
He was obviously angry. Angry enough to practically run from his 
building without being fully dressed. Without Scully with whom he'd 
entered the building last night. 
It didn't take a rocket scientist to put two and two together. 
Diana swallowed. 
*This is what it takes to get back in the big league. This is what 
is takes, Diana.* 
She set her shoulders firmly and slowly pulled out of her 
surveillence spot and drove away. 
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I'm still writing....more to come soon!...