Gossamer | Story: "Generations 33: Amnesia (1/2)" by MacspookyThe Gossamer Project Author - Title - Date - Spoilers - Crossovers - X-Files - Adventures - Stories - Vignettes Other stories by Macspooky From: macspooky@erols.com Finally, after a year I have finished another Generations story. I believe this is something like part 33. I can't believe it! First, I want to thank Eowyn (72620.2447@compuserv.com). The original story idea was hers and she actually wrote this first chapter last summer plus provided input on some of the other scenes. Unfortunately, she was not able to finish it with me and I did most of the writing myself. I miss her and I think the story suffers from her absence, particularly as it applies to the character of Walter Skinner which she did so well in our other stories. Sadly, she doesn't know I've finished this because aol keeps bouncing her mail back to me. If you are out there, Eowyn, I hope you enjoy this! Please contact me! I would also like to thank GHill of "Kicking the Habit" fame for doing a preliminary reading on this for me and pointing out some boo boos. These long ones are difficult to pull together. She was terrific. Another note: I tried to make my dialogue as authentic as I could in this story but I have probably failed dismally and do not mean to offend anyone with possible errors. Also, someone wrote me and told me the meaning of the Gaelic phrase Anam Cara and I simply had to use it here. I regret that I no longer have the original e-mail to give proper credit. It is a lovely phrase as you shall see. Story summary: Fox Mulder is in a car accident that leaves him with amnesia and severe headaches. Dewayne Bothrington is suspicious and goes to work investigating. He doesn't like what he finds. Rated R for sexual situations and language. Now for the boring disclaimer stuff. The X-Files and most of the characters in this story belong to Fox, CC, 1013, etc. and I am borrowing them. No copyright infringement is intended. This is strictly for fun and not for profit. Bothrington, his family, Mulder's half sisters and Aunt Sophia are mine along with that damned parrot Krycek who is as noisy as ever. I don't care who posts this story where as long as all of this baggage goes along with it. I fnally finished this on July 12, 1997. Now on with the story. "Amnesia" Chapter One by Macspooky with some help from Eowyn who is sorely missed. Please remember - Eowyn wrote chapter one. "Dana honey, it's midnight. You need to go home and get some rest." Walter Skinner put his hands on her shoulders gently. The small red headed woman didn't have the energy to argue. She merely shook her head no. "Scully, your babies need you. They haven't seen you in over thirty-six hours and you haven't slept more than a couple of hours in that time. Go home get some rest," he admonished. He knew that his stepdaughter's life had become a nightmare a day and a half ago when she had received a phone call from the DC police instructing her to come to Georgetown Hospital because there had been an accident. "I'm not going to leave Fox alone. What if he comes to while I'm gone and no one is there for him. I've got to be there for him. Need to talk to him. You can hear people when you're unconscious. They pull you back." Two small tears escaped her tight control and ran down her cheeks. For a moment, she was afraid that she was going to become hysterical. She was close to babbling. With a great effort of will, however, she pulled herself together. "I'll stay tonight. You and Meg need to go home and rest." Walter Skinner insisted. He had removed his hands from her shoulders and now he just looked at her wondering how much more this woman could take. If he had not fallen so madly in love with Dana's mother, he could easily have fallen in love with her. "Walter's right. You need to get some sleep. I'll stay, too," her mother assured her feeling a little sick inside. She had begun to love Fox Mulder the day she had walked into her daughter's hospital room and found him yelling at the staff that if they couldn't take care of his partner he would do it himself. There weren't many men as good as Fox, and she had come to care for him as much as if she had given birth to him. Walter Skinner was tired, but more than that he was worried and he didn't need either of the women before him dropping in exhaustion. He went into AD mode. "I did what both of you suggested last night and left you two here while I went and got some rest, with the understanding that you both would get some sleep during the day. Well neither of you have. Scully you haven't left Fox's side since you got here and Margaret you may have left, but according to Melissa, you played with little Fox, called the family and ran errands. Now, I spent last night in a bed. Neither of you did, so I will get what rest I need in the chair in Fox's room. I called Bill, by the way and he should be here any minute to take you two home. No arguments." They had argued but in the end he had won with the promise to call them if there was any change and to talk to Fox even though he was unconscious. He'd thought to himself. His wife and step daughter had finally gone home, hopefully to sleep. He'd laid down and even managed to doze off on occasion the night before but had been awakened by his dreams of every close call that Fox had had over the last few years. There were a lot of dreams and not a repeat in the bunch. The day had been miserable but since there were several meetings that he hadn't been able to cancel and two case reviews that couldn't wait, he'd had to go into the office. He'd gotten through everything as quickly as possible and left by three. Since then the three of them had shared a vigil by Fox Mulder's bed. The call had come around noon almost two days earlier. Special Agent Mulder had been found behind the wheel of a Bureau car by the police. Apparently he had fallen asleep at the wheel on the way home from New York. He'd been there on a serial killer consult and must have decided to head home early after finishing his profile. All of his injuries had been minor except that the way he had impacted a large tree had caused his head to hit the side of the car body. He'd been unresponsive and in a coma since then. The blood work had all come back negative for drugs and alcohol. Both the AD and Dana had insisted on extra blood being pulled and sent to the Quantico labs, neither quite willing to believe in such a mundane accident for Fox Mulder. Those results weren't back yet but the investigation of the crash scene didn't indicate that anything strange had occurred. No skid marks, no unidentified tire prints, no strange paint on Fox's car where he might have been forced off the road. Still, Walter felt uncomfortable however, without some kind of evidence there was no case to pursue. The first day hadn't been so bad, which was why he had agreed to go home and get some sleep. The doctors hadn't been too worried at first, but as today had gone on with no sign of their patient awakening, they had begun to run more tests and to become concerned. Other than the concussion which should have been better by now, they could find nothing wrong and no reason for Fox to remain unconscious. Yet unconscious he remained. Walter entered his room again and sat down in the reclining chair by his bed. Remembering Dana's insistence that he talk to Fox he said, "I'm back, Mulder. And I'm talking because your wife insisted on it. It was the only way that I could get her to go home and get some sleep. If you're in there and can hear me you need to come round soon cause this is really tearing her up. Not to mention Meg. Meg loves you like one of her own. Hell the whole family's worried. They all love you a lot." "It's hard for me to believe that something so simple as falling asleep at the wheel could knock you out like this. I'm mean you face prehistoric microbes and alien retroviruses, even vampires, though I'm still not sure I buy that one. I'd give a bundle to figure out what you're hiding about that case, but every time that it's mentioned you look sick to your stomach. You never told me and I bet Scully either but I get the feeling that you got involved with someone briefly out in California that time. You shouldn't beat yourself up over it-- you know. Scully was gone and I could see how lonely and devastated you were... hell, Fox, everybody needs someone sometime." Mulder lay there quietly making no sign that he heard which scared Walter even more. It was so quiet and still. At least when the three of them had been there together it didn't seem so empty. Now it seemed so very vacant and silent. "I guess now I understand what you went through when Dana was in a coma. Margaret said that you wouldn't stay by her bedside until that last night...that you couldn't bear to see her like that, especially knowing that she might be dying. I know that isn't true though. It was because I wouldn't let you have any more time off. I feel guilty about that now. Back then, Fox, I didn't know how much you loved her." Sighing Walter stood up to pace, glancing at Fox every so often and more words came pouring out. "Mulder, I know you have a tendency to blame yourself for everything that goes wrong, that happens to those you love, but I want you to know that it isn't your fault. You do good. You fight the bad guys, and yes there is a price to pay, but the price would be so much higher if you weren't willing to pay it. Have I ever told you how much I admired your courage in persuing the X-files, even thought you knew how much it would hurt your career? You can't deceive me... I mean I know you've fooled everyone else, even Scully, on this point but I know that you want to advance in the Bureau, that one day you'd like to be an AD, or even a Deputy Director or the Director himself. You've got the brains for it, and even the people skills, if you'd put your mind to it. Don't be afraid to try. Okay, son? Not for me or for anyone else but for yourself and what you want." Walter paused for a moment and collected his thoughts. It was difficult to talk to someone who was not responding, difficult and maddening. "I know it means compromise and that that's what has you so worried about moving up, but you can do a lot of good, stand up for what's right, and stick to the most important beliefs. Compromise doesn't mean selling out, son." Here Walter stopped and chuckled, "You know other people believe just as strongly as you do about some things, and compromise just means that you learn to accept that and respect their beliefs. I had to do that with you and all your crazy theories, you know?" "I didn't, make that don't... oh hell, Fox, I don't know what to believe about your little green men any more. After what I saw in Ireland, and all the trouble they've gone to to keep things hidden....hell, I don't know what to think. Why bother if you aren't some nut case? I mean an agent that believes that aliens are coming to earth might be a bit of an embarrassment but certainly not worth all the trouble they go to. At first I thought it was just about you and Scully finding out about the government or private groups experimenting on uninformed subjects... And I do believe that they are doing that, but now I'm beginning to wonder... That scares the shit out of me, Mulder. I mean I know that you regard it as a fact that life from other planets has been here on earth, is still here on earth." Walter couldn't quite believe he was saying all this. It felt alien to him even to be discussing it, but he knew his words and the sound of his voice was important if Mulder was still there. They had never discussed what they had seen in Ireland. He had = been too uncomfortable to talk about it, and sensing this, Mulder had respected his privacy. "But I want to tell you, son, that that's one area that I think the Cancerman's right about...If what you believe is true I think making it public would do more harm than good. Most people aren't like you. They aren't awed and fascinated by the unknown. They are terrified by it. The vast majority of people just couldn't handle the uncertainty of it... I know that's hard for you to understand. Probably one of your greatest weaknesses is that you can't comprehend that someone would prefer not to know the truth. They'd rather live comfortably in their ignorance, than in fear in their knowledge. But most people are like that. Most people aren't driven like you... like we are." Walter paused his monologue and poured himself a drink of water, still pacing as he drank. His eyes darting around the dimly lit room trying desperately to find something, anything to focus on other than the silent, still body in the bed. It wasn't long before the silence became too oppressive for the AD and he began to talk again. "Mulder... Fox... we need you to come back. I mean who's going to run interference with little Fox for me. I'm counting on you to be there for both of us when he gets to his teen years. My dad had a hell of a time with me. Talk about being pig headed and stubborn... I always insisted on having it my way. He never really understood... guess he was a bit too old. I came late in his life like the little guy did with me. But he had a younger brother, my Uncle Ed, I could always talk to him... He ran interference for both of us. I don't think my dad and I had a civil conversation for five or six years... at least that's what it seemed like. So I figure JF and I may start butting heads as well and I was counting on you to be there... You know keep every thing in perspective for both of us. I sorta figured that I'd be doing a bit of the same for you and Patrick or maybe little Brenda... If she's as stubborn as her mom she's going to be a handful. But I bet she's going to be daddy's girl. She sure makes eyes at you... I can tell how much you like the fact that she leaves whoever she's with and goes to you when you come in the room. She started doing that around Christmas didn't she? "Christmas was sure a riot this year wasn't it?" Walter stopped and stared at Fox for awhile before continuing. "You know Sophia came over to warn Meg and me about your present. She was afraid that we'd reject it... I probably would have but I could tell how much it meant to you. But I do not want an airplane or anything else extravagant for my birthday or Father's day this year. okay?" Walter sat and took Mulder's hand remembering Sophia's visit a few days before Christmas. "I wanted to warn you two that Fox has gotten your Christmas present." Sophia, never one to beat about the bush got straight to the point. "Warn?" Walter questioned. "He's been a bit extravagant." "What now?" Meg had questioned. "Let me guess he saw that old washer and dryer I have and decided to get a new set." "If you wanted a new set, I'd have been happy to get them for you." Walter had broken in. "I didn't say I wanted a new set but I figured that Fox might decide to get one. I'm quite happy with the ones I've got, they run just fine and I'm used to them. But if he's being extravagant..." Walter nodded but before he could say anything Sophia chuckled, "I'm afraid that he's been a bit more extravagant than that, Meg. And I think the present is mostly for Walter." "Maybe a new computer? My old one at the office has been giving me fits of late and there isn't any money in the budget for at least another year for a replacement." "I'll keep that in mind to suggest to him for your birthday." Sophia told Walter then added, "No he's been more extravagant than that." "Just how extravagant are we talking about?" "Well he came home with it yesterday and Dana just shook her head and asked him if he didn't think it was a bit much. He replied that he knew how much you weren't looking forward to buying one of those boxy things and that this would be a lot more fun for you all. Of course it pretty obvious that by you all he meant Walter." "Box? What box?" Walter was very puzzled by now. Sophia decided she'd better come to the point. "He bought you one of those big all terrain vehicles... I think they call them four by fours. Said that since you only had the little Squirt that that should do just fine and you wouldn't have to drive around in one of those silly vans that you hate. I think the only thing he rues about being married is the damned minivan Dana made him buy." "Fox bought Walter a car?" Meg was a bit stunned. She and Bill had been fairly well off in the later years but this was definitely out of their league. She turned to look at her husband to see his reaction. "Not just any car, Meg. Those things start upwards of thirty-five grand and if I know Fox he got one with all the bells and whistles." Here Walter turned to Sophia. "So tell me did Bill Mulder not let him buy anything for him when he was a kid?" "Not a damn thing, even when he was little. After Samantha was gone, well my brother felt too guilty and broke off almost all contact. Claimed he didn't want to encourage the boy in sentimental nonsense. Try to understand, Bill was raised by the meanest, most manipulative son of a bitch I have ever known. He didn't know how to either give or receive love, especially from his son. Mulder was always stuck on the outside of the happy families around him watching and observing, never really a part. Even Ruth didn't want him after she remarried. Guess now he want's to make up for it." "Why tell us?" Meg asked. "If you two are going to refuse the gift, I want to try to get Dana to talk him in to taking it back, convincing him that he's gone overboard. I think it would hurt him less that way. Well I wanted to prepare you and give you some time to think about what you were going to do. Let me know and I'll see what I can do." She got up and Meg saw her to the door. "Well, dear, what are you going to do?" Meg asked her husband when she came back. Walter sighed, "What do you think? I mean it's supposed to be for you, too." "Now we both know who he he bought it for." Her husband nodded his agreement. She continued, "So would you like one of those four by four thingies?" "I've looked at them off and on but they were so much more expensive than minivans that I didn't think we could justify the expense. What with wanting to save for the little Fox's college and all it's a pretty extravagant purchase. But I guess Fox realized that I really hated the idea of a minivan... guess that's why I've been stalling so long driving your old wagon." "So your going to accept his present?" "You sound surprised?" "I am. Not that I don't think that we should, only that you could unbend enough..." "You mean swallow my pride." "Well not exactly but..." "You know that Fox hasn't been the least bit extravagant with himself or even Dana for that matter. He practically ignores that he has any money at all. His biggest splurge was the Mustang... at least up until this point. I really don't have the heart to turn him down." "I'll tell Sophia next time I talk to her." Margaret Skinner shook her head in puzzlement. Walter brought his mind back to the present and gazed on the young man who lay so still. He had accepted the car and was glad that he had. Giving the gift had meant a great deal to Fox. His very acceptance of it had been a gift as well. He sat down finally, drained. For the moment he couldn't think of anything else to say. He had been lonely for so long, and then suddenly here was all this family, all this joy and all the sorrow too. He sighed. He would have to be strong for them. Things weren't going to be easy for anyone for awhile and it was going to be a long and lonely night. End Chapter One "Amnesia" Chapter 2 by Macspooky Dana entered the hospital room and sat down by her husband's bedside after a long. lonely and essentially sleepless night. She took his hand in hers. Walter nodded at her and left. Words were unnecessary. She knew it was a little selfish, but she was kind of glad that he hadn't awakened while she had been gone. She wanted him to wake up with her there. When were they going to be left in peace? she wondered. When were they going to be allowed to love each other and raise their children the way normal people did without having to worry about who was out to get them or whether the children were in danger? It was so unfair. They had never done anything to hurt anyone. They weren't bad people. She pushed the thought aside as non productive. Dana was no longer naive enough to believe that Fox's injuries had been strictly an accidental. Someone had set him up. When he woke up, she was certain he would tell her that his government car had been run off the road. Brooding on the unfairness of it wouldn't find out who or make him better. "I'm here, Spook," she said softly. "I'm here and I love you. Please come back to me." A few silent moments passed, moments in which she bent over and stroked his hair gently. Then she felt a stirring. Her husband moaned and ever so slowly opened his eyes. His head felt as though a pile driver was going through it, and things were a bit blurry at first, but then Scully came more or less into focus. Scully....always Scully...she was always there. He heard himself moan again. "Welcome back to the land of the living, sweetheart," she said softly. She smiled at him, a beautiful radiant smile, and bent over and kissed his lips. "Why did you call me sweetheart?" he whispered. His throat felt dry and his lips cracked. He wanted to ask what happened, but in his befuddled state it seemed very important to know why his partner had called him sweetheart. It wasn't like Scully at all to play games like that. "Because, husband of mine, you will always be my sweetheart....How do you feel?" "Husband? Am I dead, Scully?" His eyes closed again. Dana felt alarm rising. Fox had awakened from his coma, but her instinct told her that something was very very wrong. She hoped that his mind was just befuddled by the drugs and the knock on the head. He had already fallen back to sleep, however, and she could question him no further just then. It was another hour before he opened his eyes again. This time Scully was there along with a physician.....Dr. Daly....jeez....he hated Dr. Daly. If Dr. Daly was here, that meant that he was in Georgetown....and not dead. "It's good to see you awake, Mr. Mulder," said the doctor. Given what he knew about this man, he wasn't certain that he meant it. An unconscious Fox Mulder was easier to deal with. He was, however, a dedicated physician, and he would keep his dislike under control and do everything in his power to help the young man get well. "How long have I been unconscious?" he asked. He felt a little better than the last time he had awakened, but his head was throbbing unmercifully and his throat still felt raspy. He had had a strange dream, a dream in which Scully had told him that he was her husband. "Over 48 hours...." said Dana softly. "Do you know what today's date is?" asked Daly. Mulder had to think. His head hurt worse when he tried to do so. When he told them, he knew he had given them the wrong answer. He had failed "Today's Date 101." Scully looked stricken, and he was suddenly afraid. What was going on here? He could see the fear on her face, could almost feel it emanating from her. It was subtle, but he knew her that well. She was frightened. Suddenly, Daly was telling him the date. "I don't remember," he said..."that can't be. It can't be...." He closed his eyes and unconsciousness overcame him once again. Ever so slowly he opened his eyes once again. Scully was still there looking even more tired than she had before. Maybe the conversation with Daly had been a bad dream. Maybe this whole thing was a bad dream. "Scully," he whispered. "Hello, Fox," she said quietly. Ignoring the fact that she called him Fox, he asked her to help him sit up. She pushed the button and raised the bed slowly, but even that motion was too much for him. He felt violently nauseated. She grabbed the kidney basin and held him as he vomited, then wiped his face with a cool cloth, and gave him small sips of water. "You are always here to pick up the pieces...." "I'm supposed to be, " she said softly, "There is no easy and gentle way for me to tell you this, Fox and I don't think you remember, but I'm your wife....." He managed a snort. It hurt, but he managed it. "You and I married, Scully. I don't think so. I'm still kinda pissed at you for cutting that deal with that bastard Skinner so you could see your sister." "I know....I knew you were very angry with both Skinner and me about that....but you forgave me. Eventually you even forgave him. You have amnesia, Fox....More than two years has gone by since you came back from New Mexico. Two years and a lot has happened." "Why the hell should I believe you?" he asked. He looked at her face. She was looking at him with concern and something more, sadness and perhaps fear. Yes, again he sensed fear in her. "Hey, it's me, Scully..." she said trying to keep her tone light. "Remember..." "How the hell do I even know that? Samantha wasn't Samantha....." he had a nightmare vision of a cloned Scully bleeding green, lying to him, breaking his heart as the false Samantha had. He didn't think he could endure that right now. "Shh...".she said softly. She could see that he was growing agitated. The problem was that she hadn't known any other way to tell him what was happening except to be direct. He was too perceptive. If she had tried to lie to him or keep anything from him, he would have grown even more suspicious. "You'll make the headache worse. I understand. I'll prick my finger so you can see my blood...." She offered. She didn't know what else to do. They had gone through a bad time after New Mexico. For a time it had seemed their partnership would fall apart. Then, of course, they had worked it out. He had proposed and.... "No...." he said quickly and she realized why. He expected her blood to be green and to be exposed again to the alien retrovirus. "My wedding ring." She held out her hand to him deciding to try a different tactic. "You picked it out for me. It's beautiful. You chose the diamond with the emeralds to match the earrings you got me for my birthday...." Dana had a knot in her stomach the size of a large ball of twine, but she knew she had to remain calm outside. Dr. Daly had said perhaps the amnesia was only transitory due to the blow on the head he had taken. She didn't want to excite or upset him....just reassure him. "I remember the earrings. Gran...." He looked at her hand. Ever so slowly, he raised his left hand and saw that he too was in possession of a ring. The hand dropped quickly. "Next you will be telling me I have children," he sighed never for a moment thinking it was true. "Actually, yes....twins, a boy and a girl, Brenda and Patrick. They will be a year old in two weeks." Dana reached out to touch his head, but he moved it away....moved it too quickly and felt disoriented and sick to his stomach again. "Leave me alone, Scully. I can't deal with it right now. My head hurts. Just go away and leave me alone." He turned his face away from her and prayed that his stomach wouldn't betray him again. He didn't think he could stand having her touch him again at that moment. "Okay.....go back to sleep," she said softly. "I need to go check on the kids anyway. I'll ask them to get you something for the nausea and I'll come back later. It will be all right Fox. Don't be afraid. You'll see. It will be okay." His eyes were already drifting closed. She bent over and kissed his forehead before leaving him. Sleep came as a relief. He didn't have to look at the sadness on her face and the tears in her eyes as she walked out of the room. ____________________________________________ "Hello, Fox," said Margaret Skinner softly. She studied her son-in-law's face as he slowly opened his eyes. She had decided to take a turn sitting with him after her daughter had called. Although Dana had been keeping her emotions tightly in check as usual, Meg had heard the pain in her daughter's voice as she told her mother that Fox had amnesia and didn't seem to be able to remember anything of the last two years. Margaret had tried to reassure her daughter that it was probably temporary from the concussion, but she wasn't certain that she had succeeded. It was Dana who was the doctor after all. She had been worried about Dana. Her daughter had sounded totally exhausted and she and Sophia still had two young children to deal with at home on top of everything else. "Hello, Mrs. Scully," he replied wondering what she was doing here. His headache had abated somewhat, but his brain still felt fuzzy. She smiled at him and took his hand. "It's Mrs. Skinner now, actually, but you always called me mom....." "You married....him?" asked Fox. The him came out dripping with sarcasm. He knew it wasn't fair. Skinner had gotten them back to work, had gotten Cancerman to call off the dogs temporarily. Still, Skinner was part of the bureaucracy. He had done a good thing for them on one hand. On the other, Fox still wasn't entirely certain he trusted the man. The thought of Margaret married to him..... "Let me help you sit up," she said unruffled putting the bed back in a upright position. "Yes, I married Walter, and I know you might find this hard to believe, but you and he are very close. You call him dad, and he thinks of you as a son." Fox just blinked. None of this was real. It couldn't be happening. "What happened, Mrs. Scul....Skinner?" "You were in a car accident, dear," she explained. "I think that my husband and your wife are of the considered opinion that the accident had help. I'd bet that Walter has some of his best people working on it including Agent Bothrington. If someone did this to you, they will find him. Walter will see to it." Fox could see that she was genuinely convinced of this, but then if she was Skinner's wife, she would be. He wondered who the hell Agent Bothrington was anyway. Margaret had said it as though the man were something special, but he didn't have the energy to ask. Sensing his discomfort, Margaret held up a glass of water with a straw for him to sip. He took it gratefully. "Scully said we have children," he blurted out finally. "Uh....huh..." Margaret's face lit up with a smile and she did what every grandmother does best, whipped a stack of pictures out of her purse. "This one here is Patrick Steven Wolf......and the little redhead is Brenda Stephanie. Steven is Walter's middle name," she announced proudly. If it felt odd to be showing a man pictures of his own children as though they were strangers, she didn't let it show. Having Fox for a son-in-law had never been entirely normal. Fox blinked. His eyes had to be deceiving him. The one called Patrick was the image of him, and the one called Brenda looked so much like Dana with just a wee bit something...yes, just a wee bit of Samantha as a child thrown in. This had to be fake, all of it. They could have taken his baby pictures and Dana's and made this photo. But that little girl...there was something..... Margaret saw his skepticism. "Well, you'll see them soon enough," said Meg. "Now this is my pride and joy." She whipped out another picture. "I'm written up in the medical texts. Walter and I had a honeymoon baby and I'm way too old....a miracle I think you called it when you found out....anyway, this is Walter Fox Skinner. He looks like his dad....." "Definitely the same hairline," he muttered looking at the baby picture. He saw Margaret smile as she showed him another picture. The slightly older baby was getting a full = head of hair and looked a lot like her older son Bill. Fox remembered Bill, head tackle in the Scully family football team. He sighed. Dana's birthday....that had been a happy day. His partner was back....Now everything was suddenly complicated once again. A miracle baby....he had told Margaret her baby was a miracle. He tried to remember but it caused a pain to shoot through his head. "It's a lot to take in, Fox," said Margaret very softly. She slipped her pictures away and took his hand. He tried to pull away, but she wouldn't let him. "I know you are hurting right now, Fox. And where you are.....well, I know you just lost your dad...and everything is very confusing. Take it slow, Fox. One step at a time. Dana loves you. We all do. It's going to be okay. Your life has changed a lot since you came back from New Mexico. You even have extra help from Agent Bothrington. You get some rest now and don't try to force it." The older woman got to her feet. "Walter will be by a little later to see you." She bent over and kissed his forehead. "I'll be back tomorrow. Dana is getting a nap and then she'll come by again." Margaret turned and left the room before allowing a tear to fall. Poor Fox. He looked so pained and confused. He was back to a time in his life when he had no one. He must be very frightened. Well, at least now he wouldn't be alone as he had been in the past. There was plenty of family to care about him and to help him recover. On her way home, she decided, she would stop at the church and light a candle to the Blessed Virgin. She had always found Mary to be a powerful spiritual ally. ----------------------------------------------------------- The man lit a cigarette and stood before the others trying to hide his vague sense of amusement. "What is the news on Mulder?" one of the men asked him. "He's awake," replied the Morley smoking man. "And does he remember?" "All indications are that he remembers nothing of the past two years." "Then it looks as though this experiment may be a success," said another. "Don't be smug," snapped the Morley man. "It has barely been two days. If a slip was made by anyone, this whole little affair could backfire and turn into a fiasco." He ground out his cigarette butt a littler harder than was necessary. The new drug was a powerful weapon if it worked, and Mulder a good test subject on the surface, but these fools didn't realize what they were up against. It was one thing to experiment on...well other sorts of test subjects, but Mulder was something else again. He was the first subject with an eidetic memory which was part of the reason they wanted to use him. There was also another consideration though. Since none of them understood the meaning of the word family, they didn't realize that the wagons were about to be circled around their guinea pig and things might not turn out as planned. Sometimes these fools had a tendency to forget just whose grandson Fox Mulder was. End Chapter Two "Amnesia" Chapter 3 by Macspooky The nurses aids brought him a tray of food....the good old hospital light diet....bad chicken soup, crackers and jello with ginger ale. Hell, he had spent so much time in hospitals that he had the routine down pat. He could almost taste the stuff without lifting the lid off it. Mulder wasn't hungry. He didn't want to eat. The conversation with Skinner had left a bad taste in his mouth. The man had come to his room and called him son, had told him that there was no evidence of any kind of interference with the car, that it had undoubtedly been an accident although it was being checked. Yeah, right. Like he wouldn't cover it up if that smoking bastard hadn't tried to get him. Well maybe it had been an accident, but he would think twice before he believed a word Skinner had said anyway. What else could be expected from someone in cahoots with men like Cancerman or if not in cahoots who had to answer to them. Mulder wanted to take the tray and toss it across the room in anger, only he didn't have the strength. His dad was dead. A stranger like Skinner thought he had the right to call him son. He couldn't believe that he had ever called Skinner dad no matter what they told him. The door opened and Dana came in. She smiled at him, but he could see it was forced. She wore no makeup and looked pale and exhausted. She set a bag down by his bedside and bent over and kissed him. "Hi, sweetie," she said softly. "You are looking more alert." If she knew about his visit with their boss, she said nothing to him. Just as well. He didn't think she would understand. Her mother was married to Skinner after all. "I wish you would stop that, Scully," he said. "I'm not your sweetie." She frowned briefly then forced a calm expression back on her face. He felt a moment of sadness. He had hurt her feelings. He knew he had hurt her a lot in the time they had worked together. He was relieved when she took the hospital food away, but the relief was short lived. "I brought you some of my homemade soup," she said gently ignoring his crankiness, "and some real jello, not that cheap hospital stuff. Oh, and some fresh brewed iced tea to drink." "I'm not hungry," he snapped. "I know, but you are going to eat." She knew he would never admit he was too shaky to do it himself. She opened the Tupperware container. "Come on....open your mouth." He sighed because he was too tired to fight her and let her feed him the soup and jello. Oddly, he found it delicious. She put a straw in the container and he sipped at the iced tea. That too was perfect, not the mix he normally drank, but fresh with a hint of mint. It was as though she knew just the way he liked things...... A nurse came in. "The doctor said that we could disconnect the foley," she announced chirpily. "I'll do it," said Dana quietly. "I'm an MD," she explained. "Oh, okay, Mrs. ... I mean Dr. Mulder.....Just let us know if you need anything." The nurse left. She was grateful to escape. The nurses were already buzzing about two things...about how good looking this patient was and how big a pain in the ass he was already proving to be." "I don't want you.....you're my partner...." He stuttered. He felt disoriented again, mortified....except that she'd done the same thing when he had been in Alaska. It was too late. She already had the covers down and the damn hospital gown up. "I know what you look like, Fox," she said quietly, "I had two children with you." "I thought I asked you not to call me that..." he winced as he felt to catheter being pulled. He supposed it had been a bad time to run his mouth. It wasn't that it had hurt particularly, but it was never pleasant having things put in and pulled out of your vital parts. She ignored him. "It's going to burn the first time you pee," she said quietly, "but then you know the drill." "Yeah...feels just like a bad case of the clap...." "And how would you know about that?" she inquired. "A little present I got from Phoebe once," he said nastily. "Something she neglected to mention to me one night on a tombstone...." He wondered why he had suddenly felt the need to tell that to Dana. Dana said nothing. The truth was that she wasn't entirely surprised. It sounded like Phoebe...just not the kind of thing Fox liked to tell her, certainly not the kind of thing he would have told her when they had been just partners. He had been mortified when she had told him she knew about his tape collection. When she had finished washing him, she took a pair of pajamas out of the bag she had brought and helped him to change. He didn't like the idea of her seeing him naked. It didn't seem right. He couldn't picture himself with her...having kids... Once she had him settled, she gazed at him sadly. "What....why are you staring at me that way, Scully?" he demanded. "I....want you to know.....I....." she hesitated. "I know we are in very different places just now....but...." She reached out and stroked his head with her hand. "Fox, I loved you even then.....even back in New Mexico....and...well....I just loved you.....okay.....even if we couldn't talk about it then." He didn't have the strength to do more than nod. Before he drifted off, before he fell asleep, he felt her kiss him once again and heard her quietly leave the room. A part of him wanted her to stay, but another part wanted to be alone with his pain and his fear the way he always had. A Few Days Later Fox knew they were going to send him home soon whatever that might mean. When he thought of home, he thought of an apartment....a dark empty apartment near Capital Hill. His aunt Sophia, when she had come to visit had assured him, however, that this was no longer the case, that he had a lovely townhouse with a beautiful garden and that she lived in the downstairs apartment at least for the moment. ...Aunt Sophia of all people. The sight of her arriving in his hospital room had been a shock. He had grown so fond of her during the time he had lived with her, but she had disappeared from his life, and it was nearly impossible to believe she had returned and minded his children, the children he didn't remember having. He sighed. The doctors assured him that nothing was wrong, so why couldn't he remember? They had run all sorts of tests but everything was normal. When he tried to recall anything he got piercing pains in his head to remind him of why he didn't want to try anymore. If he didn't try, he had only a constant dull ache, one they assured him would disappear with rest. He wasn't sure he believed them when they said everything was fine, and he wasn't about to give up on his memory either. Not yet anyway. Dana came in. He had forced himself to start thinking of her as Dana and not Scully. No matter how he snapped at her, she refused to call him Mulder. Fox it was and that was that. Unlike with Skinner, she wouldn't take a hint, or even a direct statement. She ignored him and continued to call him Fox or worse yet...... "Hey, Spook, you are looking almost human," she smiled. He couldn't avoid the kiss she insisted on planting although he wished she would stop doing that. It didn't feel right. "Goddam it, Scully, why the hell do you call me that?" It came out sounding nastier than he had intended. "It's....well....it's just a silly pet name," she said. "You call me Shorts and I call you Spook." She sat down ignoring how much it hurt when he snapped at her. The doctors had advised her to try to treat him normally in the hopes of triggering a memory, but it wasn't easy when he disliked it so much. Quietly she took out a jug of iced tea for him. He nodded and accepted it gratefully. He remembered a conversation from shortly after they had been partnered..."If there is an iced tea in that bag it could be love." There had of course been root beer then. He wondered idly if he asked for root beer now if all this would go away and supposed it was a stupid thought. "Now, why would I call you Shorts?" he asked lightening his tone or trying to. He had never gotten into that kind of silliness with a woman...ever.... "It kind of started on the day you proposed," she began. She tried to answer his questions honestly. "Oh, and what did I do, get down on my knees and beg you to marry me?" The question was sarcastic. "No..." she said quietly, "not at all." She told him about the Irish Folk Festival and how her brother had called her BVD. He had kiddingly started to call her Shorts and it had stuck. Sounded really stupid to him. He rolled his eyes but discovered that it hurt and closed them instead. "Okay, so how did I propose?" he asked with resignation. This was pretty good. Fox Mulder proposing...yeah...right....When she explained, he laughed for the first time since his accident. It was weak but it was a laugh. Talk about being in LaLa Land......Now this so called proposal was really too stupid to believe. "Marry me, Scully, and I'll show you how afraid I am of bodily fluids? Give me a break, Scully. No man proposes to a woman like that." "You are special. Besides, you didn't really mean it, which of course obligated me to say yes to teach you a lesson, and then, well, we got married." "To teach me a lesson?" "That's one way to look at it," she replied thoughtfully. He saw her eyes were laughing in that instant. "Although I'm not sure who learned it." Who the hell knew. It was just weird enough to have happened. He had become one of his own X-Files. In any case, she had shown him the marriage certificate and the kid's birth certificates. Still, all those things could be faked. He wondered if alternate universes existed. Maybe he had landed in one. He had been having that thought more and more lately, weird even for Spooky Mulder. If it were an alternate universe maybe he could be beamed back somehow.....Scotty, where are you when I need you? "So, what did I do on our wedding night, Scully, screw your brains out?" The laughter left her eyes to be replaced by pain. He knew he had overstepped the bounds of taste this time. She was trying to be so patient with him, and in return he gave her sarcasm a lot of the times. He had overdone it this time. Still...it was hard to believe.....he didn't believe...none of this could be real, could it? Sometimes he still felt so disoriented. "No," she said softly, "no you didn't. You made love to me. It was sweet and wonderful. You were tender and loving, and I ..... I was so happy. You were too, Fox. I had never made love to anyone before and....." "Give me a break, Scully.....you are too damn old to be a virgin. I'll go for a lot of bullshit, but not that. " Fox sighed and turned his face away. Scully a virgin...definitely alternate universe time. Hell, everyone had known about her affair with Jack Willis. According to Jack, she had been a misery in the sack. He wished they would all leave him alone. Whatever the hell they were trying to do, they were pushing it too hard. Jeez......All of this could be faked...all of it, everything, and there were moments he was letting himself fall for it...fall for it and believe..... Dana got up. It had become time to end the conversation. It was becoming too painful and he had started not to believe her again. "They are releasing you tomorrow, Fox. I'll come and take you home. The children miss you." Once again, the woman claiming to be his wife bent over and kissed him. Trouble was, he realized that in a way it felt good, too good to be true. There was no way he could see having found happiness with a wife and children, not as long as his sister was gone. Oh sure, he cared about Scully. He had been a madman when she was missing.....but to propose to her.....to subject children to the danger of Cancerman.....it simply could not be...."Scully," he demanded as she walked out the door, "Scully, Samantha isn't dead is she? I mean...." "We are still looking for her, Fox, together. We'll find her." With that, Dana was gone leaving him frustrated and dissatisfied rather than reassured. End Chapter 3 "Amnesia" Chapter 4 by Macspooky Fox recognized Dana's old apartment building, but they drove past it and turned the corner. Dana turned into a drive and hit a remote. A gate opened and let them in and then closed behind them. She pulled the mini van was driving in front of a garage. They had spared no expense on the security of the fence that surrounded the house, he realized. He suspected that there was electronic surveillance as well. "We keep the Mustang in the garage," she explained. "Mustang?" he asked. That almost made him perk up. He had always wanted a Mustang. "It's kind of....well...your baby...." she replied. "It's a good thing you weren't driving it when the accident happened. You'd be devastated if anything happened to it." There had been an uncomfortable silence all the way home. She helped him out of the car. He was still feeling a little unsteady. If she had not been a physician, they might have kept him in the hospital a little longer. Taking out a special key, they entered the back of the house. She led him through a large comfortable kitchen decorated in a twining ivy pattern into what was supposed to be a dining room, but which was fitted out as a....as a what...a damn toy store.....Jeez....there were toys everywhere including two bouncy horses in the most godawful colors. He had barely had a moment to let the nightmare register when he was suddenly assailed by three dogs.....oh, God.....a Pomeranian, a Poodle...and some godawfulooking thing.....Then there was a flapping sound and a shriek pierced his ears...."Open you legs, Scully.....Up and at her....Up and at her....." He barely had time to think of the proper question, "what the hell was that?" when seemingly out of no where two little kids assaulted him..... "Da da.....da da...da da......." repeated the very tiny redheaded girl over and over while the larger male child jumped up and down pulling on him. His head began to throb unmercifully. "Now, children....." Aunt Sophia came in..."Sorry, they got away....." She looked at her nephew. He collapsed on to the sofa. Within seconds, the kids were all over him. His head was really throbbing. now. God, you could fake everything....birth certificates, marriage certificates...the adults you trusted could lie to you, could act.....but how could you fake this? How could you fake toddlers climbing all over you and calling you da da, and three hideous dogs suddenly licking your face and a parrot, for that is what he realized it was, screaming in the background....oh jeez.....it had gone from screaming "Open your legs, Scully," to "Rip em off me, Mulder....Does that feel good, Fox...." It was true. It was all true. Fox Mulder had been domesticated. He had been shackled with a wife and kids and a house and pets.....and now he would never find out what happened to Samantha. "Please just tell me we don't have a cat," he heard himself moan. He felt his world going black. A few minutes later after some smelling salts had brought him back to a reality he would have preferred to escape, Dana helped him into bed. He recognized the bed and the furniture, if not the room. He had come to her apartment after his dad had been shot and collapsed in this very same bed. She had taken his temperature and brought him something for a fever and held a damp cloth across his face. It had felt good, good to have someone care for him. "I'm sorry," she said gently, "It was too much at once. I should have realized." "It isn't your fault....none of it is your fault," he sighed. He tried to tell himself it wasn't anyway. It had just been a car accident....a stupid car accident. Ironic. He...paranoid Mulder could accept that...but not the house or the kids or Scully...... "Is it okay if the kids come in for just a minute?" she asked. "They are about to go for a nap and....." She wanted to tell him again how much the twins had missed him, but he cut her off quickly shuddering visibly as he did so. "Dana, I don't know what to say to them." "You don't really have to say anything. Just give them a hug and a kiss. Then Sophia will put them to bed and they'll sleep for two or three hours. I'll look after things when they get up....okay...." He nodded. He didn't have the strength to fight. The kids came in. The little girl came right to him and hugged him, but the boy hung back. It was obvious he had realized that something was not right. Fox was relieved. The girl hadn't been too hard to hug because she had hugged him first, but the boy....he was different. He wasn't sure he liked the little boy. Later On That Day The shower had felt good, a real shower with real soap....and clean pajamas and sheets. Although he had balked at the idea, she had insisted and she had been right. Then she had brought a tray up and made him eat. The room was snug. Dana had lit the fire. He thought he might even be able to sleep through the night. Although he was feeling a great deal better for the food and being really clean, his head still hurt, so when she brought him a painkiller he accepted it. A short while thereafter, she had reappeared in a soft buttery colored nightgown that exposed rather a lot of chest. Her hair hung loose. She looked beautiful in the firelight, like he would imagine a renaissance queen to be, like something out of a past age..... "What are you doing?" he asked as she started pulling back the covers to climb into bed. "I'm going to sleep," she said quietly. "Here? With me?" "Of course. It's our bedroom......" "But......." He felt himself getting panicky. "Fox, I'm not going to sleep on the sofa bed downstairs. The children are up here and this is my room. I need to be where I can hear them at night..and you if you should start to feel sick." "Unh....yeah....right...." He was suddenly very uncomfortable. He hadn't actually thought about sharing a bed with her. He turned his back to her. It was a queen sized bed. There should be plenty of room for both of them. He felt her body snuggle against his back. He smelled the scent of her shampoo....if his head hadn't hurt so much... "Do you have to do that?" he asked her in an annoyed tone and she moved close to him. God, he was being such a jerk. How many times had he dreamed of what it might be like to lie next to her and hold her and now..... "I'm sorry," she said softly moving away from him. "It's just that I....well....I've gotten so used to sleeping in your arms and I've missed you." "Good night, Scully," he said by way of reply. "Night,....I love you. I'm glad your home, Fox." She didn't touch him again. Early The Next Morning He smelled coffee and found his way downstairs tripping over a toy and stubbing his toe as he did so. He cursed and went into the kitchen. "Hi, swe," she said. She had caught herself just in time. It had become clear to her that he didn't like it when she called him sweetie or anything like that. "I was going to bring you up some coffee in a few minutes." Dana came over to him and reached up kissing his cheek. He had surprised her. She hadn't thought he would come down. She was pleased. The babies were in their high chairs. They started making squealing noises as they saw him. Tiredly in spite of many hours sleep, he sat down at the table. "Da da...da da....." said the little girl. Dana set a cup of coffee in front of him and some orange juice which he drank gratefully staring at the kids. She put a plastic plate with French toast in front of her son....lots of French toast....and a half a piece in front of her daughter. A box of Captain Crunch appeared in front of him. "You know what I like," he said managing a grin. He had always been something of a junk cereal addict. "I'll make you some French toast too," she said softly. Briefly she touched his shoulder wishing she didn't feel so beat. "What's he making such a fuss about?" asked Fox. The boy was sitting in the high chair, a mouth full of food starting to pitch a fit. "You have to give him Captain Crunch when my back is turned," she sighed. "Why?" "Just give him the damned cereal, Mulder, before his cries deafen us both. It's a game. You sneak him sugared cereal when I'm not looking. I pretend not to notice. This way, he's happy, you're happy. Everyone is happy but me." She caught the French toast before it burned. He put a pile of cereal on the kid's tray and found himself growing faintly nauseous as the boy stuffed his mouth and drooled. He decided that she probably called him Mulder when she disapproved of his actions. "What about her?" he asked as Dana put the food in front of him. "Not a problem. She doesn't eat." Dana sat down with her own breakfast which wasn't much more than Brenda's. Mornings had always been hectic in the Mulder household. "So, at breakfast I'm Mulder, huh?" He leaned back. He had been watching Scully move around the kitchen and decided that she was kind of sexy in the morning. He suspected it had something to do with her hair not being as perfect as it always was in the office. "That's cause your ass is always grass at breakfast, Mulder. It's where you do your worst with the kids...." She smiled at him. Suddenly she wished he were back doing his worst with them again instead of just asking about it because he didn't know......couldn't remember. "Hmm.....real maple syrup....I must be rich...." he quipped ignoring her. He was trying to be humorous. Somehow, he felt as though it wasn't working. In any case, he had never been a morning person. He wasn't certain he could deal with this on a daily basis. No....he was sure he couldn't. "You are, " she replied, "something close to a billionaire at last count, but that is another story...something else to tell you. For now, eat." She picked at her own food. "God, does he have to do that, Dana?" asked Fox annoyed as the boy decided to make raspberries with a mouth full of French toast. He moved away as quickly as he could but got sprayed anyway. The kid had been kind of cute looking up until that point. "Who do you think taught him, Mulder?" she asked. Fox definitely decided that at breakfast his ass must really be grass and if she was telling the truth he could understand why. Yes. Scully hadn't been kidding. Then again, she wasn't really a morning person either as he recalled. It had always taken one cup of coffee before either of them could discuss a case coherently. He supposed that in her mind, the breakfast table was where he screwed up the worst. Scully would not approve of sugared cereal for kids. The little girl stared at him. Now that was kinda cute. She definitely wore her mother's studious expression. "Hey, little lady, are you coming on to me?" he asked putting a smile into his voice. "All the women come on to you," sighed Dana. Fox looked at her and realized she was tired. "Oh yeah....cool.....lot's of women throwing themselves at me. There are worse things in life that could happen than having women flirt with you." "I guess that depends upon your point of view. I'm a jealous wife." Dana managed a small smile for him. "Come on, Spook. Finish your food. I know they don't feel much like your kids, but they don't know that. They are going to want to play with you after breakfast." "Oh, joy," he muttered under his breath trying to convince himself that he should at least be grateful for the fact that Aunt Sophia had taken away that damned parrot. End Chapter 4 "Amnesia" Chapter 5 by Macspooky Dana cursed silently and entered the garage. Fox's first day at home had been difficult. He had wanted to stay up and watch TV for awhile, but the children had gotten on his nerves. He displayed no fondness for them or any real interest in them. Finally, unable to stand it any longer, he had retreated to the bedroom. Dinner had been a disaster with Patrick crying and fussing the whole time wanting to be held by a father who wanted nothing to do with him. He had tried holding the boy briefly, but sensing rejection, Patrick had only cried more. Dana had had to work at not snapping at her husband. It wasn't his fault that he couldn't remember. For all they knew, he could have subtle brain damage, things that they wouldn't be able to fully assess until he had been home for awhile. The doctors had advised patience but it wasn't easy. Finally she had put the kids to bed after he had refused to help, but when she had come back downstairs she had realized that he had left the house. She had seen the light on in the garage and gone in search of him. After their marriage he had gotten over the habit of having his snits in places that were cold, but that had taken time, time which for him in his present state hadn't passed. It was back to dark moods in cold places. He was standing in the light of the two overhead bulbs staring at the Mustang. "You okay, Fox?" she asked gently. She checked the baby monitor with one hand to make certain the volume was turned up. Fortunately the twins seemed to be deeply asleep. "Yeah, Scully, just great," he replied. He almost wished he was back in the hospital. "So, I'm a rich man and I bought myself this car. Jeez, Scully, it's yellow. Looks like a goddamed canary." "Yup," she laid a hand gently on his arm but he pulled away. She looked up at him and then down at the convertible and suddenly the tension of the day just got to be too much for her and she started to laugh hysterically. He looked at her quizzically unaccustomed to hearing such open delight from her. "What?" he asked a smile playing about his lips in spite of himself. Scully had always been pretty when she laughed even when she had been drenched in the pouring ran in a cemetary in Oregon. Funny, but he had seen her stripped nearly naked on their first case and hadn't thought her pretty at that moment, but now remembering her standing in the rain...he refocused on what she was saying... "Oh...nothing...I was just thinking about the weekend you surprised me with this little toy." "And......" "I probably shouldn't tell you if you can't remember. It might be a blessing." "Oh, come on, Scully. You can't keep me in suspense." If it had made her laugh outloud, it must have been good. Scully had never laughed enough. "Well, you convinced me that we should take a ride in the country." "That sounds like a good way to test drive a new car. Logical...scientific." "Yeah, except then you pulled over into what was supposed to be a secluded place." "And....." "And, you decided to act out on some teenaged fantasies, so there we were, making it in the back seat with the top down which wasn't easy cause I was 8 months pregnant..... "Get out of here," he said. He thought she had to be lying. He couldn't picture making it with his partner at all none the less an 8 months pregnant partner. Course they were married then supposedly. "How'd I do that?" The logistics were fascinating anyway and he had never minded a dirty story. "Why God made knees...yours anyway...." she said quickly blushing. "so, there we were with me in the back seat, my maternity skirt hiked up over what had once been a waist with my legs draped wherever I could put them and you on your knees in your favorite spot when who should pull up but a young highway patrolmen who, how shall I say this, caught you at rather a critical moment, but who chose to discreetly wait. I was at this point unaware of his presence since I couldn't see over my stomach." "You're lying." he said flatly. His lips threatened to quirk up. "Am not. Anyway...." "Were you screaming?" "Yup....anyway...." "So I suppose our FBI ID got us off the hook...?" If the story had involved anyone else but Scully, he too might have been laughing hysterically. He didn't really have any qualms about making it in the back seat of a car with a willing female, though he doubted he would have chosen a pregnant one, and she probably would have been a brunette. This was something she had to be making up...even if all the rest of it was real...this simply could not be...not his prissy partner Scully who made a career out of ignoring his crass remarks and looking at him with total disapproval. "Nope." She grinned at him. "When he asked you what you were doing......aw jeez, Mulder....instead of apologizing nicely and promising that it wouldn't happen again, you told him....you told him that you were just grabbing a quicky on the way to the hospital....." "I didn't?" "You did." Trouble was that part of it sounded just like him. He waited for her to finish. "So, he insisted on escorting us to the hospital and going inside with us. Trouble was, I wasn't in labor. Fortunately, just as they were coming to wheel me away, he got another call and had to go and we snuck out the back door." "Real close call huh?" he inquired quizzically. "Were you mad at me?" "Humiliated," she confessed. "But mad, nah....wasn't the first time you'd gotten me into trouble that way." She told him briefly about the incident in the barn in Ireland. He could relate to that more or less because he remembered the story of Bridget Feeney from her birthday party. "Sounds like maybe you should have been mad, Scully." "Now how could I be mad when I enjoyed it as much as you did," she chuckled. "I wasn't laying there screaming "no." Heck, I liked it as much as you did. As I recall I couldn't find a.....I couldn't really get my legs where I could open them en....Oh hell, when I was pregnant I couldn't get....Never mind." This might have really happened but she wasn't certain she enjoyed talking about it. "Anyway, I did make you buy me a double scoop of ice cream on the way home though." She slipped an arm around his waist. "We had lot's of good times, Fox, you and I....bad ones, but more good ones. We will again. It'll be okay. You'll see." He sighed his head throbbing again. He knew that she was trying to be strong for him, to encourage him, but nothing felt right about the situation. "That was a good story, Scully. Except for the pregnant part, sounds as though you have been watching my tapes." "Come on, " she said softly. "Let's get you inside before you get pneumonia. I'll get you something for that headache and tuck you into bed." "Okay," he replied feeling suddenly weak. There wasn't much else he could do now anyway. Morning Again Fox woke up groggily in unfamiliar surroundings and then remembered suddenly where he was. He was "home" or what was now his home. The smell of coffee drifted up to him. He went downstairs and flopped into one of the kitchen chairs. Patrick began pounding on his high chair tray with his baby cup and his sister began to squeal for her Da Da.... Remembering the routine, he tossed the kids a handful of fruit loops and poured some in a bowl for himself adding milk. The boy pounded some more. "He wants milk in his cup, Fox," said Dana bringing him coffee and juice again. She sat down and rubbed her head. Well, how the hell am I supposed to know that?" he snapped impatiently. He hadn't slept well the night before. His head had hurt even through the medication haze. "You aren't. That's why I'm telling you." "Give me the damn cup, kid," he muttered and filled it before dumping some in the coffee she had given him. He took two sips as Patrick stuffed his mouth with the banana slices she had put on his tray. "Is it like this every morning?" he demanded suddenly. He hadn't really enjoyed it yesterday. He liked it less today. "When I'm not working, like today," she told him. "Jeez," he snapped feeling faintly nauseated. He picked up his coffee and walked out of the room leaving her with her two children. He was going to be insane inside of a week if things kept on like this. To make matters worse, there was a knock on the door and Aunt Sophia came in with the three dogs in tow. Thank God at least she didn't have that stupid bird with her. At least she had taken that away. He wondered what ever had possessed Scully to buy a parrot. "Hello, Mulder," she said as the dogs jumped all over him. "I'm going to go get some coffee and we'll sit for awhile." She disappeared into the kitchen leaving him to fend off the mutts. He heard her gushing over the kids and then as Dana carried them both upstairs to dress them, she sat down with him. "So," he asked, "when did you come back?" He wouldn't bother to ask from where. She probably wouldn't have told him anyway. "When you bought your wife this house and I realized it had a rental unit," she grinned. "Of course, neither of you believed me when I told you you were going to have twins." "I see...." "I doubt that," she replied matter of factly. "I would say that you must be very confused just now and perhaps not enjoying life much at the moment." As usual, his Aunt Sophia hit the nail on the proverbial head. "Jeez....these dogs...." he complained. She gathered them up. "They are a handful but lovable....even the mutant there....." At that Mulder managed a snort. It was the funniest looking damned thing he had ever seen. It could pass for an EBE. Hell, the way his life was now, maybe it was. Maybe it was the chief EBE and really in control of everything only they just didn't know it. He sighed. That scenario was as likely as a whiney kid that looked just like him drowning him in banana raspberries at the breakfast table. "Well, the good news is that I'll be moving into the place next door and the two of you will have your basement back to expand. It was a good idea buying that second house.....makes security easier with no neighbor next door." "You mean I own two houses now?" he asked. "Not exactly. I own the other place, but hell, when I die it'll be yours anyway. Now, now, dear, don't turn green. You can handle it." She got to her feet and patted his head. She had been told at how the thought of owning a home had just about sent him over the edge. "I'm going to take the dogs downstairs. Tell Dana that I'll be up to help with the kids a little later. I'm doing some critical research with some friends....." With that Aunt Sophia was gone. He looked after her. It was hard to believe she had come back. On the other hand, in her own strange way, she had always kind of been there for him when he needed her. He thought about the pat on the head. That was a lot of affection for Sophia. She must have been really shaken up by his accident. He wondered what sort of research she was doing. His head started to throb again at the sight of the children barrelling across the room at him. They were fully dressed now and it looked as though they were ready to rock and roll. Patrick took a flying leap for him and managed to land with his head impacting right against his balls. Mulder let out a yelp, a major yelp in fact, and the kid slipped to the ground and started to wail. "Take it easy, Patrick," sighed Dana picking him up. "I might need those one day." She smiled at her husband. That smile held promise of things she might like to come. He felt a sense of panic overtake him. God, if the promised things ever did come, he could end up with another one these shrieking little people. He decided it was time to go back to bed....alone. He was not glad that he was "home." It didn't feel like home. He sighed. Maybe he would wake up and everything would be okay. The trouble was that he knew he was awake already. The throbbing in his vitals thanks to this child who looked exactly like him told him that. End Chapter 5 "Amnesia" Chapter Six by Macspooky Special Agent Dwayne Bothrington sat in his car and tapped his fingers against the dashboard. He was a man who had survived the streets of New York City by instinct, and right now the hairs on the back of his head were standing on end. Shortly after Mulder's so called accident, he had gone to the hospital to check on his boss and part time partner. In the end, he had decided not to actually visit Mulder because his wife had informed him that Mulder was suffering from amnesia and not remembering him, her husband would probably be hostile and paranoid. Agent Mulder, he knew, had good reason to be paranoid. Bothrington had devoted every spare minute he had to studying the X-Files, and he had not liked what he had found. At first, he had been inclined to think that most of it was lunacy and that perhaps people were right about at least some aspects of Mulder's personality, but as he had read between the lines and let his perceptions take over, he had come to the conclusion that Mulder was on to something. Although his boss revealed little outright, very strong hints had been thrown and, of course, Agent Scully had been a bit more forthcoming with him from time to time. There were experiments going on....genetic experiments....maybe using alien DNA if Fox Mulder were to be believed, or maybe just horrible experiments if one took the more earthbound perspective of Dr. Scully. And, Both had studied enough history to fear that there was an excellent chance that a disproportionate number of those experimented upon had been his people. There were still survivors of the Tuskegee Experiment, Black men who had been injected with syphilis in the 1920's and tracked for years. They had been poor and ignorant...desperate men who hadn't known what they had gotten into. Even after penicillin had been found to be a cure, the men were never treated and it had affected generations. The government's answer had been a feeble apology. What could happen then could happen now. Because he had gone to school and had become successful, there were those who had said he had betrayed his people. He had been called an oreo more than once, but Bothrington knew differently. If you were going to help your people, there were games to be played. Both was a man who had wanted to help his people, to right wrongs, to seek justice, and he thought perhaps now he had the chance....if he could help Mulder solve the mystery of the experiments....if he could help shut down the shadow government he was coming to feel existed in the background..... There was something else as well. He had gone to New York to visit his mother and his sisters. He ran into an old friend. Well, not really a friend, but a brother who had hung out in the projects. When Walter Skinner had described Mulder's accident, he had remembered the conversation with the junky...a young man his age who already looked 70. "Brothers is having accidents." "Brothers are always having accidents." "Three from just the old block. Always the same...." "Three junkies always the same?" "No man....they get in the car. Car be found with them unconscious. When dey wake up dey don't remember what happened. Dey don't remember what happened three years ago...sometimes dey don't remember dere own mother's name." "Drugs and driving...." "Maybe but not Jamal....Jamal he smart like you. He gonna get out of the projects...maybe dey mo on other blocks...other projects....it scare me DeWayne....maybe somebody experimentin on us again..." At first he had scoffed. He had begun to think about it however. Then he had planned to take the conversation to Mulder to see if he thought it bore investigating. He had decided to do it the very next when Mulder got back from his trip and then the call had come that Mulder had been in an accident. Mulder had been in New York. Mulder had had a car accident. Mulder couldn't remember. Somehow he had been only mildly surprised when Scully had told him that Mulder had amnesia. No...that wasn't quite right. Maybe he hadn't been surprised at all. Stealing the two viles of Mulder's blood had been a spur of the moment decision......For some reason, he felt there was more to this car accident than Mulder had forgotten. Now he had to decide what to do. He didn't entirely trust the FBI labs or at least not everyone in them, and, he believed, there might be something in those samples that a standard = lab could not detect. Who could he trust? Life had become dangerous the moment he had walked in the door of that basement office and decided to stay. Having left one vile of blood with a friend who was a lab technician at Howard University Hospital, Agent Bothrington drove to the house of Assistant Director Walter S. Skinner. This was definitely in defiance of protocol. He watched carefully to make certain he hadn't been followed and got slowly out of his car. Luckily, no one seemed to suspect him of anything yet. Hopefully he would be thought of as a token for awhile longer yet. Almost reluctantly he approached Skinner's front door. It was a moment before he rang the bell. He recognized his reluctance for what it was. Skinner represented the Man and the Man was not always good for a brother. The door was answered by Skinner's wife. She had her baby on her hip and when she saw him, she smiled at him, a warm welcoming smile. "Good evening, Mrs. Skinner," he said politely, "Is Assistant Director Skinner at home?" "Why, yes. He is in the den. Come in, please." Margaret ushered him into the den after taking his jacket. Walter Skinner looked up in surprise at the sight of one of his agents casually dropping into his house. He put down the book he was reading and got to his feet. "Thank you so much for inviting me to see your stereo system, Mr. Skinner," said Bothrington, "It is so difficult to know what to buy and I'm certain this will help me make my decision. I know it is a bit unusual, but everyone talks about what a great system you have." Walter had no idea what the man was talking about, but he wasn't a fool either. Bothrington wanted to talk, and he wanted to make certain the walls didn't have ears. "No problem, Agent Bothrington. It's a big investment. If agents have to gossip I'm glad it is about my stereo system and not my management style." He looked at his wife who took the hint and left with a smile. "Can I offer your a drink? My stepsons bought some fine scotch for my birthday," "Most kind, Sir.....just a small one, thank you. I understand you have a fine jazz collection too." Skinner handed him a drink and popped in a CD, some old Duke Ellington. They talked sound systems for a moment before Both's eyes turned serious. He pulled the vile of = blood out of his pocket. "Mulder's blood," he said quietly. "I stole it from the hospital. I have taken one vile to a friend who will remain anonymous for testing. I want to take the other one to New York to someone else I know. I always keep a bag packed in my trunk, and there is a flight out in two hours.....What I need you to do is to reassure Agent Scully quietly when they discover the samples are missing and to backdate the leave forms. Ostensibly I will be visiting my mother. I also need you to persuade Mulder it was an accident. Something tells me we will all be safer that way." Skinner studied the man. They were thinking along the same lines. Interesting....there was more to Bothrington than met the eye. On the surface he seemed the cool collected by the book agent that the bureaucrats loved so well. On the surface, he seemed the sort of black male that the old boys establishment loved to drag out and tote around while they bragged about integration and affirmative action. That was on the surface. Instinctively, Walter had always liked and trusted this man although he was not always what he portrayed on the outside. "I had planned, Agent Bothrington, to assign you to do a cursory investigation Mulder's accident, however, since an accident is exactly what it seems to be, if you wish to make a brief trip to New York to visit your mother who I have heard is in poor health, I will certainly sign the papers in the absence of your immediate supervisor, Agent Mulder." He winked at Both. "I'm sure my mother will recover quickly and I can be back in less than 48 hours, Sir, and thank you. He hesitated a moment not sure whether or not to discuss his concerns. In the end, he decided the less Skinner knew at this point, the better. Bothrington got to his feet. He reached out and shook Skinner's hand. "A wonderful sound system, Sir. I do believe I will consider this model when I make my final purchase. Good evening to you." Skinner sat thoughtfully. First thing in the morning he would have the necessary paperwork prepared for Both's brief leave. The man undoubtedly had time coming and Angela would not question the dates. He wondered what Both was really up to. Well, he couldn't assign a better agent to investigate Fox's accident. Both was right on all accounts. He knew a report would be forthcoming that it had been an accident and nothing more, but he would simply file it and ignore it. The real story would come out later if there was a real story to be found. Between him and Pendrell doing the technical work on the physical evidence, he had confidence that justice would be served, or so he told himself. End Chapter 6 "Amnesia" Chapter 7 by Macspooky Dana was relieved that the kids were finally in bed. It had been a difficult second day at home almost worse than the first. The children had left the breakfast table eager to play with the father that loved them so much only to find a tired cranky man who acted like a stranger and who rejected them again. He had made a half hearted effort with them for a few minutes, but very soon grew impatient. Fox had announced that his head hurt and had disappeared upstairs for the rest of the day reemerging briefly at dinner and then disappearing again. It had left her to shoulder the entire burden, and she was so very tired. The children hadn't wanted to go to bed without daddy to read to them and kiss them goodnight, but he had refused...out and out refused. She found him sitting on the couch in the living room, his feet up on the coffee table, arms crossed looking broody and sulky. It was a look she was all to familiar with. Dana resigned herself to a difficult evening and went into the kitchen and brought him a cup of cappuccino decaf, a bag of sunflower seeds and a small bowl. "Hi, Spook," she said pinching the wide part of his thigh lightly and smiling. "I thought maybe you could use this." "Thanks," he muttered. He barely looked at the coffee she had gone out of her way to make. She sat next to him silently and picked up a magazine, not that she really wanted to read. He didn't move for a long time. Finally, he took a sip of coffee and set it down. She heard the familiar cracking of sunflower seeds and felt him shift in the seat. "You okay, Spook?" she asked. "Jeez, I wish you'd stop calling me that stupid name," he snapped. Then he sighed. He hadn't meant to rip her head off like that. It's just that he hated being called Spooky and Spook was a little to close for comfort. "I'm sorry," she said softly. "Forget it." Wanting something to do with his hands, he picked up a photo album that was laying on the end table and opened it. On the very first page there was an 8 x10 of he and Dana. He had no idea where it was set, but they were sitting on a blanket surrounded by green. She was in shorts and a yellow tank top and she was sitting between his legs leaning back against him. He was resting his head on her shoulder, his arms wrapped around her. It was a beautiful picture of a gorgeous young couple, but he felt disconnected from it somehow as though it couldn't be Scully and he. "Bill took that picture at Wolf Trap," she said quietly. "That was the day you asked me to marry you. I was so pleased when he gave it to me. I didn't think there would be any photos." "We look happy," he said. "We were," she replied. "I hadn't often seen you have such a good time as you did on that day. It was nice." Next came a group photo of Skinner's wedding to Mrs. Scully. He flipped that picture quickly finding it hard to believe he was there. He felt she had to be lying when she told him he had been Skinner's best man. Yeah....right....but he was in a tux. Must've been a clone, he thought bitterly. He couldn't see himself being Skinner's best anything. He simply didn't trust the man. He turned the page to the next picture. It was another beautiful picture this time set in a church. Dana was dressed in white. It was, he realized, their wedding, well, their second wedding if she was to be believed. She was breathtakingly beautiful, the glow on her face visible even in the photo. He turned the page again. Dana on Skinner's arm. He had "given her away." Jeez. Then there was the two of them dancing, and gran....him dancing with gran. It was uncanny how much she and Dana looked alike. Another turn of the page and there was a photo of them in this house except that it had been empty at the time. There was a Happy Anniversary Banner in the background with a folding table laden with food. Dana was obviously pregnant, and the camera had caught them at a very intimate moment, one of those moments no one was supposed to observe none the less take a picture of. He was standing near her rubbing her distended belly in a proprietary manner as though he were the first man ever to make a baby, and she was looking up at him with an expression that was nothing short of adoration. He closed his eyes for a moment as she explained Halloween and their anniversary and the house and how happy he had made her with the surprise. Unable to bear the pain of looking at the picture, he turned the album pages again. Dana in the hospital before she gave birth......God, she had been huge. He thought about the story she had told him the night before. Then he had found it amusing if unlikely, but looking at the size of her, he suddenly found the idea revolting. Then there was an actual photo of the baby being born that somehow someone had managed to snap.... "That was Brenda," said Dana quietly. "We don't have one of Patrick. He was totally unexpected. I mean I thought I was done and all of a sudden...wham bam...bonus baby." He turned the page again....two infants right after birth. He knew Patrick immediately. The infant was small and battered, but the face was his. This was followed by a few more baby pictures and Christening photos including one of him lying on a blanket with the two babies asleep, one on his chest and one next to him. Unable to bear it any longer, he snapped the album shut. He had looked so happy in those pictures. It couldn't be him. It just couldn't....not with Sam still gone and the truth not known. Dana was looking at him in alarm. "My head hurts," he snapped. "I'm going to bed." "Okay," she said softly. "I'll bring you one of your pills." "I don't want any damned pills...." "Fox, you need to rest and the medication helps. Trust me on this...okay?" "I don't see why I should, Scully. I mean, it's not like any of this could be real or anything. I'm going to wake up tomorrow and all this is going to be gone." He knew it wasn't true. It was all too real and he was trapped by domesticity. He told himself he would have to adjust, have to get used to it, but he would never believe that he had chosen it willingly. He turned away from the beautiful woman who was supposed to be his wife so that she wouldn't see the tears that were forming in his eyes. A part of him wanted it all to be true, but it just wasn't possible. Later that night when he felt Dana get into bed with him, he ignored her even though he was not fully asleep. He found himself longing for his dumpy apartment and his old leather couch. At least that had been real. The Next Day When he was 12, Fox had come to love Aunt Sophia. Whereas most adolescents would have been embarrassed to death by her loud voice, the bright colorful gypsy clothes she wore in public, the tacky rings and the harsh loud New York accent she affected when the spirit moved her, he had thought it was great. She was witty and intelligent and just nuts enough to appreciate his own eccentricities. Of course, he hadn't had much choice in the matter. It had either been Aunt Sophia or back to the children's center and he sure hadn't wanted to go back there, not after what the older bigger boys had done to him. He shuddered at the thought then pushed it away. She had been his savior. "Now, Mulder, you've got to pet Thing or he will just keep on bothering you..." she informed her nephew. She was making every effort to treat him normally and hide her worry. The atmosphere in the house was not right. All the love was gone. She could feel it. "He knows you can't stand him, and he is as obstinate as you." "Oh, joy." He patted the dog. Dana had gone to work for a few hours and Aunt Sophia had come up to watch the children. Thank God. He certainly wasn't about to. Every time he started to think they were sweet, they turned into little terrors. Once he had petted Thing, the other two mutts started looking for attention too. "Where the hell did these goddamed mutts come from anyway?" he asked, "And that bird....." Sophia laughed outloud. "Well, from what Dana tells me, she inherited Thing from someone who committed suicide on a case....Bruckman I think was the name. He inherited the dog from the old lady up the hall who died. Apparently Thing is a little cannibal...ate the body or something..." "Oh, God.....Aunt Sophia....." He rolled his eyes. Sounded typical though...real X-Filish. Well, if the man had left the dog to Scully he had been smart because he knew he would have dumped it at the pound ASAP. He could picture the little bastard eating his body. He had never liked Pomeranians anyway. Damned peeing shitting furballs was what they were. "Well, apparently you were bending over with the pooper scooper one night when Thing slipped his leash and got Mrs. Thing here in trouble. Caused quite a stir when the owner dropped her off with her litter. Everyone thought there was a bomb in the picnic basket that they were brought in. The bomb squad was called and it turned out to be little It and his siblings." Sophia laughed. "Jeez, I thought Walter might rip your head off there for awhile, but he was very understanding in the end. A good man." Again he rolled his eyes. "I wouldn't have kept these mutts." "What made you think you had anything to say about it?" she smirked. "Thing was already here, and we weren't about to let you put mama and babies on the street. I like them, and Margaret just loves her two to death. I'll tell you something, Mulder. You and Skinner raced him down to the vet for THE OPERATION in record time." She laughed. "You both came back holding your balls, but the dog has since stayed out of trouble. He even stopped peeing on your shoes. As for the foul mouthed bird, you bought him for Dana for her birthday." Sophia sighed. "I really should have let you get a parrot like you wanted when you were a boy, but I didn't want to be tied down with a pet." "You got tied down with me," he said quietly. "That's different. You're my family. Family is important Fox. Don't ever forget that." Mulder looked up at the mantel. He decided it was time to change the subject. "That old fashioned portrait is interesting. Where did Dana and I have that taken?" "Oh, that's not you and Dana. That is Dana's grandmother with her first husband Wolf Patrick Muldoon, your grandfather's brother. Small world isn't it?" "No," he said getting up suddenly, "No...not small...insane. How could that be? Jeez.....next you'll be telling me Gran's ghost came back to haunt me." "Actually, Dana tells me that she heard her grandmother laugh the night the children were conceived," said Sophia. "Scully....scully would never say anything like that." His head started to hurt and he got to his feet. It had been a mistake to come downstairs and talk to his aunt. She was crazy. He should have stayed in bed. Patrick came over to him and wrapped arms around his leg, but he pushed the child away. He went toward the stairs. A part of him felt guilty ignoring the little boy's cries, but he ignored it. The pain in his head was starting to overwhelm him. "It's a lot to take in, Fox," admonished Sophia gently as he walked away. "Where you are now, you aren't used to being loved. You will be. You'll get used to being loved again. You aren't going to have a choice. We are all going to love you no matter what. We are all your family now, even Walter." "Yeah...right," he muttered and continued on. The older woman sighed. Things were going to be very difficult. Her nephew was not cooperative or accepting by nature. She thought about Dana who had insisted upon returning to work. Poor Dana, ever conscientious about her job, was in for a very hard time again. Fox wasn't going to do anything to make this adjustment process easier for her. Sophia hoped against hope that Fox would regain his memory quickly. It broke her heart to see the look on Patrick's face when Fox had pushed him away and Brenda....Brenda was already withdrawing. She had caught the child talking to her teddy bear...."no dada....no dada..." Both the kids were entirely too smart for their own good. They came to her and she gave them both a big hug. All the potential was there for Fox to start acting like his father if he was stressed enough. He had been that abused when he was young. For his family's sake she hoped that wouldn't happen. So far, he had pretty much avoided falling into that trap working things out with Dana's help, learning to control that dark side of his nature, but with the head injury and possible subtle brain damage, who knew. The work week finally passed and Dana was relieved. Although she had tried to get things back into a normal routine, it just wasn't working. Fox wanted little or nothing to do with the kids, and she didn't want to ask any more of Aunt Sophia who had done so much already. With Aislinn gone...hell it never rained but it poured which was exactly what it was doing outside now. She cringed when the doorbell rang. She didn't think she could deal with visitors and she still had to go to the grocery store, but it was too early to put the kids to bed. She felt overwhelmed and asked Fox to get the door. He opened it and two young women rushed him nearly knocking him over in their exuberance to hug him. "Oh, Fox," said one, "Thank God you are okay." "We've come to help you remember," announced the other. "We wanted to come when you were in the hospital but we had all these stupid exams." He blinked and then realized that he was looking at his twin sisters, Jennie and Amy, only somehow they had gotten all grown up and seemed to think they were a part of his life. "Um, what are you doing here?" he inquired. There explanation about coming to help him remember didn't quite cut it. His mom and step father had never allowed him around the girls much. "We have a long weekend and decided we needed a break from partying," said Jen. "No exams, no papers due and a big brother with amnesia." "But....." he spluttered. "Well, you do remember us," said Jennie adamantly. At that point Dana came back from the kitchen where she had been attempting to escape whoever it might be and saw them. "Hi girls," she smiled. She was glad to see them. "Dana...." they hugged her. "We're here to set Fox straight on a few things." "Don't worry. We headed mom off at the pass," grinned Amanda. "Convinced her that she should go ahead with her charity bazaar and that we had things under control in DC." "Thanks, girls." Dana sighed with relief. The last thing she wanted was Ruth mooning around right now and the girls were always fun when they came for a visit. If nothing else they would take Fox's mind off his troubles. They always stayed downstairs with Sophia who adored them. Even though they weren't blood relatives to her, they were blood to her beloved nephew and she treated them accordingly, and suspected Dana, enjoyed feeding their computer hacking habit. The babies came toddling in and grinned when they saw the girls. Dana realized with a start that she shouldn't have turned her back on them. She really was tired. "There's our godchildren!" Little ones were scooped up and turned upside down and tickled while Mulder watched in astonishment trying to remember when this had happened. The effort made his head hurt even more. "Dana," said Amy, "You must really have your hands full. Why don't you go run errands or do whatever you need to do. We'll watch the kids and keep big brother in line here." "Yeah," said Jennie. "Ames just learned to make spaghetti sauce. We'll even make you dinner if you haven't eaten." "God, you two are angels," she smiled. "I really do have to get some groceries in. We've eaten but I might take you up on that offer tomorrow." "Patrick still eating for 10?" "Always....." Dana slipped her jacket on and grabbed her purse. "Help yourself to whatever is in the fridge. I'll be back." Amy and Jen sat on the couch with a bottle of coke and a pack of oreos. Jen gave a big slug to Patrick. "Uh...I don't think you are supposed to do that," said Fox. "I mean Dana wouldn't...." "Dana's not here." Jen grinned at him. He winced. The girls bore a distinct resemblance to the Samantha clone. "That's sneaky," he said. "Sure, but living with mom and dad we learned sneaky at a very early age," she grinned. "It's genetic," stated Amy looking directly into his eyes. He had to throw his head back and laugh. He hadn't done that and ages. Something told him that these two had grown into real chips off the old block in spite of his mother's best efforts to keep his influence at bay. "Well, I just hope in your current state of mental moldiness you aren't being nasty to Dana the way you were on Martha's Vineyard." said Jenny bluntly. "Was I nasty to Dana on Martha's Vineyard?" "Yeah, and if Senator what's his face hadn't shot you, we might have done it ourselves," grinned Amy. She didn't' seem to care that Brenda was spreading oreo covered hands all over her shirt. He knew there was a file on a case he had worked on Martha's Vineyard. It was in his briefcase, but he hadn't read it yet. It had been the first time he had worked with Both, or if Both could be believed, against him. He wasn't certain yet whether or not Both could be believed. The agent had stopped by briefly to see how he was doing and Mulder had found him likable, but it was tough to believe that he was sometimes partnered with this man when Scully couldn't get away. "Mom was going through her I hate Dana because she is a whore phase," said Amy, "so you neglected to mention to her that you were married to Dana. Then when you were sent to the Vineyard when all those bodies were found, the shit really hit the fan...." "Sit...sit...sit...." muttered Brenda. "Now you've done it, Ames," laughed Jenny. She punched her sister's arm. "So mom has this dinner party and sets you up with cousin Irene who really had the hots for you. Jeez....we thought she was going to come down on you right on the patio. Hell, we thought you were going to..." "Never mind what we thought," said Jenny. "We were relieved when you didn't." "So, if mom didn't know I was married how did you know?" he asked, "And how do you know what cousin Irene did or didn't do?" "Why we were spying on you, of course," explained Amy. "It's what we do best," continued Jenny. She looked at her brother. "It wasn't an accident you know." "What wasn't an accident?" "Your accident of course, dummy. They really are out to get you. Wouldn't surprise me if they didn't drug you somehow before y ou got behind the wheel of your car." "Jenny," he sighed feeling really bewildered at this pair in front of him, "there is no evidence of that, believe me. It's been checked. Paranoid as I am, Dana and I both agree this was just a stupid accident. How would you know people are out to get me anyway?" "We have our sources," replied Jenny enigmatically. "Besides, that guy with the cigarettes who showed up at Aunt Margaret's wedding and the babies' Christening gave us the creeps. We picked up one of his cigarette butts and tested them for prints. Do you know that they are no where to be found? Not event the FBI...." "Shut up, Jenny," said Amy. "Jeez, you'll get us arrested yet." "Hey, it's Fox we are talking to...." "Girls," he said suddenly, "whatever you've been up to, I want you to stop. Do you hear me? I want you to stop." These two were alarming him, really scaring him. He might have said more except that Aunt Sophia chose that moment to walk in the door. She had the dogs with her, and the noise levels rose to unbearable levels. He was shocked at how glad Sophia was to see his half sisters. He left them and went upstairs to lay down his head throbbing once again. He had a feeling that before the weekend was out, his sisters were going to leave him exhausted. They seemed to have an unlimited amount of energy. End Chapter 7 "Amnesia" Chapter 8 by Macspooky Dana slipped into her work clothes and sighed deeply. Fox had been out of the hospital for nearly three weeks now and things were going from bad to worse. His headaches hadn't dissipated. If anything, they had gotten worse. He had gone for more tests but they had shown up nothing....no abnormalities...no sign of brain damage...nothing....and yet he was in constant pain, pain that grew worse when he tried to remember. It broke her heart to see him suffer so, but he had become so difficult to live with that it was getting harder and harder for her to keep her temper in check. At times she could see him trying to be his old self, trying to be good with the kids, and perhaps that was the only reason she had been able to do so. She would catch him looking at her with the old softness in his eyes, or studying the children with a tender look, but then he would see her watching and he would turn away. Those times were becoming fewer and fewer, however, and now he would become annoyed when she would try to tell him stories about what had happened during the time he had forgotten. Worse yet, Fox had wanted to go back to work and Skinner had refused to allow it, rightly so in Dana's opinion. The tension between the two men had grown unbearable and she was caught in the middle. It was yet another thing that caused her pain, seeing the way the relationship between the two men had totally fallen apart. The last time he had spoken to Walter, Walter had told her in disgust that he thought it was time she give him a good kick in the ass and doctors be damned. Apparently, he just had and Dana supposed she didn't blame the man. Dana went into the bathroom where Fox stood wrapped in a towel. He had just come out of the shower. He had known that she needed to finish getting ready for work but still he had.....well...that could be forgiven she supposed despite the fact that she felt it had been deliberate inconsideration. God, he looked incredible. She wished she could forget about the office and that he would turn around and rip her business suit off her and push her down on the bed and do all sorts of things with her. He had no interest in her sexually though. She sighed....The office....she had promised to bring him home more files to work with, but she knew it wasn't going to satisfy him for very long. Sometimes she felt pulled in every which direction, pathologist...sort of wife....mother....Sometimes she just wanted to chuck it all and run. She knew she couldn't though so instead Dana went up behind him and put a hand gently on his back as he lathered his face with shaving cream. Maybe this time she could get through to him. He had always had his dark side but in the end it had never won out. Now she was losing her faith that she would ever see the man she had fallen in love with again. He shrugged her hand away. "Can't a man have a little privacy?" he asked her. "Jeez...a man can't even pee in peace around here." Yesterday it had been Brenda staring at him. The day before Patrick had come barging in when he had been doing more than just peeing. He was sick of it. "You're covered," she smiled, "Unfortunately." "Oh, and what exactly does that mean?" "Only that I kinda miss you uncovered....big boy," she replied flirtatiously. "I got kinda used to you, you know. Not much we didn't do. Well, except for one thing....one thing you would never let me do...." "What?" he asked not really being certain that he wanted to know. He just wanted to shave...alone. He wanted to shave and get out of the house even if it was just to go to a session at Roberta's, not that therapy was helping him in anyway. Even hypnosis wasn't breaking through the amnesia. In fact, when she had tried it reluctantly at his request, the pain in his head had gotten so bad she had been forced to bring him out of the session and had called Dana to come and get him. "This," she replied grabbing his razor quickly and with a giggle trying to shave his cheek. "You would never let me do....." As the razor touched him, he shoved her hand away so violently he ended up getting nicked in the process. The razor flew out of her hand and across the room. "Don't do that. Don't ever do that," he snapped. "But....but....why?" She felt a little bewildered. He would never talk to her about it. He never had and of course that had only increased her curiosity. "Because I said so," he snapped, "And don't use my amnesia as an excuse to snoop either....do you hear me?" He looked at her angrily. He knew that she agreed with Skinner about not allowing him to return to work, but he was slowly going crazy at home. "You're bleeding, Fox," she said quietly. She took the washcloth but before she could touch him he took it away and pressed it to his face. "When I was a little girl and I used to love to watch my daddy shave and..." she began. "Well, I'm not your father." "That isn't fair, Fox," she replied moving towards the door. Best to leave him alone. "Life's not fair, Scully," he replied, "and if you really want to know, when you were missing I worked a case in California. I met a woman. Before I went down on her, she shaved me and nicked my face. While you were God knows where having done God knows what done to you I was going down on a woman on her bathroom floor. She was damned good too. Now you know. Does it make you feel better?" "Yes," she replied stubbornly although the way he had said it hurt, "Yes, it does because now I know." She turned and walked away from him. She knew that the old Fox would have felt guilty about it and that was why he would never discuss it and why he would never let her shave him. She was sorry she had asked now. He watched her go and was suddenly overwhelmed by sadness. When they had been partners they had disagreed and bickered and argued, and sometimes he knew he had been mean to her, but not like he had been this morning. The trouble was he had so much wanted to let her shave him, wanted her to touch him, but his head just hurt so much and if he tried to make love to her, he was afraid he wouldn't be able to. And, he had never wanted her to know what had happened in California while she was missing. What he had done made him sick. Why the hell had he been so mean to her? Dana was scheduled to be off the next day and reluctantly she picked up the phone. She was reaching the breaking point, the point where she did not know what to do anymore. Finally she dialed a number. "Hello, Roberta," she said quietly, "It's Dana Scully." "Hi, Dana...how are you?" "I'm holding on. Could we....could we maybe meet for lunch tomorrow? I'm off and I really need to talk to someone...." "Of course, Dana...." Dana put down the phone with shaky hands and tried to concentrate on the report she was supposed to be writing. She was sitting in Fox's office just to be near him spiritually at least. She wondered what had happened to Both. He had gone to New York ostensibly to visit his mother and sisters, she knew but if he had come back, she hadn't seen him. Well, technically Mulder was his supervisor. Perhaps he had gotten touch with Walter. She hoped that nothing bad had happened to Both's mom. He was such a good man. Finally she forced herself to focus on her report. The Next Afternoon Dana struggled to open the restaurant door with the double stroller. A kind person finally held it for her as she pushed the two babies into the restaurant. She spotted Roberta sitting in a booth toward the back and was grateful that the psychiatrist had chosen a place that was family friendly and where they would have suitable food for the children. She was glad that there appeared to be plenty of room. The worst of the lunch crowd was now gone. Although the woman looked startled to see her with the children for an instant, she smiled and waved. "Will you need a high chair, madam?" asked the host. "Two actually," she replied with a smile, "and a lot of crackers or bread quickly." She pushed the stroller near Roberta. "Good to see you, Roberta," said Dana slipping off her coat and taking jackets off of babies and piling them on the seat of the booth. "You too, Dana," replied the older woman. "Hello, Brenda. Hello, Patrick." Patrick wiggled and waved smiling happily. Brenda studied the older woman carefully. "Looks like you're a flirt like your daddy," Roberta grinned chucking him under the chin. "You certainly are as handsome, big fella. You are thoughtful like your mommy, Brenda." They really were adorable children, physically beautiful and Roberta knew that that made a big difference in self esteem later on. People reacted positively to physical beauty in young children. It was sad, but plainer babies didn't quite get as much attention, sad because there was really no such thing as a "plain" baby. Well, it wasn't a problem the Mulder children would ever have. If things didn't change soon, they might have other problems, but a lack of physical beauty wasn't going to be one of them. The high chairs arrived and Dana got both of them settled. "I'm sorry I had to bring them, Roberta. Aunt Sophia takes such good care of them while I work that I don't like to ask her for special favors if I'm off. She really is a jewel." "That's all right, Dana." It would have been easier and preferable to talk without the distraction of the little ones, but a woman had to do what she had to do. Crackers were brought and orders placed quickly. It didn't do to spend a lot of time in restaurants with young ones. "You look tired, Dana," said Roberta softly. "How are things at home?" She started out to say that they were just fine. That was her pat answer, what she always did instinctively, but she sensed that it wouldn't work here, that Roberta already knew they were miserable. "Not easy," replied Dana softly looking at her husband's old friend and mentor. "He's not an easy man, and he isn't taking this well." Dana liked that. The woman was honest and direct and wasn't about to waste her time with psychobabble. She handed each child a cracker. Patrick stuffed his in his mouth. Brenda studied hers and then let out a shriek when her brother tried to snatch it...not that she wanted to eat it. As everyone turned to look at them, Dana shushed them both and tossed her son another cracker. "This one is a non stop consumer of food, and the other one thinks it is something to be analyzed to death," she sighed pointing at her daughter. "Roberta, I'm worried about him....Mulder....Fox I mean. He vacillates between accepting us and anger but mostly anger....and the headaches......well, they get worse when he tries to remember or tries to accept us." Roberta nodded. "Yes, the headaches are a major concern. I have recommended that he have yet another cat scan. I keep hoping something that will show up. Of course, he argues, but then he always did." She managed a smile. "I can handle him," said Dana. The waiter came and put food down in front of her. She immediately began cutting up pieces of the burger she had ordered for Patrick and put it on a plate with fries. Brenda got one fry. "I know you can," smiled Roberta watching in alarm as more of the lunch when on Patrick's plate. There was something about the way Dana said "him" that implied there were things she couldn't handle. "Aren't you going to eat, Dana?" asked the older woman gently. "I'll have some salad. I'm not very hungry these days. I worry all the time about the children......He doesn't......Fox doesn't like them very much, Roberta. Before, he was crazy about them. I mean it was a little hard at first with the boy, because of his background and everything, but then they bonded and his Wally Wolf was his pride and joy,. but now it's like....well....they don't have a father anymore. He looks like daddy. He smells like daddy, but he doesn't act like daddy. He's cranky and impatient. Brenda is withdrawing from him more and more. She keeps saying Patrick doesn't talk yet really, but now he cries all the time and has tantrums." Roberta looked sadly at the younger woman. Fox had loved her so much. That much Roberta knew, had known since he had come to her during the time that his partner had been gone, abducted. Not even Fox had realized then how far gone he was in love with the tiny redhead that sat before her now. "I think at this point, they just don't feel like his children," said the older psychologist. He has to rebond with them from the beginning." "I know that, but he isn't even trying. No that isn't true exactly. He kind of tried at first, but..." Dana forced herself to eat a bit of salad and sipped the ice tea she had ordered. Patrick immediately started waving his arms. She held the glass up for him. Half the tea was gone in a minute. She signaled the waiter for more. "I mean, he works at being civil with me most of the time...some of the time... but......I don't know...." "It's hard," conceded Roberta. She remembered the time she had had dinner at the Mulder house and had caught the two of them in the kitchen. Fox had had his arms around his wife and they had been kissing....so obviously in love, madly passionately in love. "Yeah....I feel so selfish....I'm trying to be endlessly patient but I'm running out. I don't know how much longer I can handle this without losing it completely." Dana felt her eyes tear over and forced herself to remain in control. The kids didn't need to witness their mother falling apart. Not now. Already Patrick had picked up on the change of her expression and was looking alarmed. Neither did Roberta or the restaurant patrons. Roberta watched the struggle compassionately. This tiny redhead was nothing but good for her old friend and protege. Roberta sensed that there was something else on her mind and waited quietly for Dana to finish. "He won't sleep with me," Dana heard herself blurt out suddenly. She hated herself. Roberta was acting in the role of Fox's therapist and Dana knew that there was a lot that she wouldn't discuss. Ethically she couldn't. As a physician, Dana knew this. She knew she should find her own therapist. She hated the thought of doing so however. She sure didn't want to use one at the Bureau as she had before. Dr. Kossof was an excellent therapist, but word of their sessions had leaked somehow after the Donnie Pfaster thing. He hadn't suspected the doctor, however, she had always been reluctant to go back after that. "It's going to take some time, Dana," said Roberta softly. She smiled slightly. "He respects you." She had already known that he was not sleeping with her...well he was, but that was all he was doing. "I don't want his respect. I want......never mind...." "Your relationship was very physical wasn't it?" "Once we were married....Oh, Roberta, we were always touching. We had to hide the way we felt about each other so long, and when we could finally express our love.....I don't want to talk about it." Patrick was looking for more food. Roberta watched in astonishment as he began to demolish another pile of fries. Brenda was working on her third......fry that is. Slowly. "So," said Scully, "what was he like as a younger man, this lunatic husband of mine?" She managed a smile and another bite of salad. "Brilliant. A genius in fact." The older woman chuckled. "There is frequently a very slim line between genius and insanity. Mulder walks it." "Next you'll be telling me he was obsessed with his sister," Dana chuckled. "Definitely....even then. He was also a real...excuse the expression, wise ass. He never knew when to keep his mouth shut. Basically he ran rings around his professors and succeeded in setting their teeth on edge, particularly the males. He had a real problem with authority figures. He also had an incredible sense of humor. Dry, frequently self deprecating. I always suspected he'd been an abused child." "He was," said Dana sadly. She told him what she knew. "Worse yet, I think something happened when he was at the children's shelter. He won't talk about that at all, but Sophia rescued him and she is just insane enough herself to be what he needed." "You love her don't you?" "Can't help it. Plus, she and mom have become great friends. Fox adores her. I guess, well, I guess.....Phoebe Greene wasn't very good for him." "Phoebe Greene is the most manipulative female I have ever met." "Bitch," said Dana with a wicked grin. "I've met her. I know from first hand experience." Roberta looked startled for a moment. Then she laughed. "Yes....bitch." she agreed. "Not very scientifically put, but accurate. Seriously though, she was the worst thing that could have happened to a sensitive soul like Fox. Broke his heart. It was a long time until he trusted anyone again. I don't think he ever really did until you came along, but you couldn't warn him. In his mind, Phoebe could do no wrong. I don't know what finally happened, but I was pleased when they broke up." "The bitch two timed him," replied Dana. "Itch....Itch...." Brenda started singing. "Early speech development," sighed Dana. "Last week everything was Picked it up from her non da da when he stepped on some blocks. The week before it was which started right after Fox's twin sisters left. Kids never seem to learn good habits from the people around them do they? I guess I better be going. Mulder Junior here is getting antsy. You don't want to be around him if he is late for his nap. He's so much like his dad it's uncanny." Dana called for the check and insisted on paying for it. She began to slip on jackets. "Dana," said Roberta as the woman rose to put the kids in their stroller. "When you get home I want you to eat something....hear me? You won't do anyone any good if you collapse, least of all Fox. I want you to eat and put your feet up and try to rest. If you need anything, or ever want to talk, you know my number." "Thanks, Roberta," she replied. "I'll try to convince Fox that he needs another cat scan although let's face it it probably won't show anything." "Perhaps. And, keep trying to be patient with him at least a while longer. Your love is the only thing that is going to get him through this." Dana nodded and left. She promised herself she would try and try again if need be. The trouble was that in the past, patience with Fox hadn't done any good. The only thing that had worked when he got thick headed was a figurative kick in the ass and a threat to leave him for good. The trouble was she was afraid if she tried it now, he would be grateful and leave. End Chapter 8 The Gossamer Project Author - Title - Date - Spoilers - Crossovers - X-Files - Adventures - Stories - Vignettes Other stories by Macspooky Please let us know if the site is not working properly. Set story display preferences. Do not archive stories elsewhere without permission from the author(s). See the Gossamer policies for more information.