Title - Why I Stay (1/1) Author -Zeza E-Mail address - Zeza3@aol.com Rating - NC-17 Category -MSR, SH, Spoilers - Season 4, the movie, The End, Beyond the Sea and Paper clip Keywords - Summary - A visit with Bill causes Mulder and Scully to see each other in a new light. Author's Note: SMUT! Smut! Smut! please be patient with my minor plot. and send feedback! Why I stay "Dana I don't understand why you keep working with . . . that man." Bill said, disgusted at the mention of Mulder. I shook my head and turned to look at him, ignoring the current gaudy commercial. It was hard to sort out any sort of answer for my brother; my bond with Mulder was beyond words. "Bill, I like the work." I sighed. Whenever Bill got into moods like this, he didn't know when to leave atopic alone. It appeared that tonight's obsession would be 'that crazy man'. "Teaching at Quantico was never this interesting or challenging." "It's too dangerous." He told me. "After all that's happened, loosing Missy, your abduction, the cancer, you shouldn't work with him." "Missy's death wasn't his fault." I told him, letting my temper flare slightly. "First of all, my job is supposed to be dangerous Bill. I work for the FBI, remember?" My voice was rising with the sarcasm. "Secondly, not even Ahab thought he could decide for me what was 'too dangerous'. I am more than old enough to decide for myself." "You're right Dana." He sighed, reluctantly giving me the point. "But couldn't you work somewhere else? Get another partner? He doesn't treat you well. He doesn't care about your life outside work, he gave you that derisive nickname, and Dana, the two of you don't even have real conversations; you just exchange information. He seems a little . . .obsessed." "Without him staying isn't worth it." That was the truth. When They had burned the X-Files and Mulder and I were reassigned, work wasn't as interesting. As long as Mulder was there it was worth staying, but not as exciting. And, when they split us up I had no further interest. None at all. "You're risking your life for a man? For that man?" Bill gasped at me, enraged and awed. I shook my head slightly. "That man has a name Bill. Besides, I'm staying for the X-Files. I can't leave." "Agent Mulder can get a new partner." He said bitterly. "Bill" I said sternly, making sure he was watching me. "if I go so does he. His work is over." It was clear he didn't understand. "When I was diagnosed with cancer, the first thing he thought of was treating me. Of curing me. As it got worse . . ." I looked away. It still hurt to talk about the cancer, but he had to understand. "I was in pain. There were times I wanted to die; I was ready to die. Mulder was dying too. He gave up work. All he did was search for a cure, day in and day out. He didn't sleep or eat, he just worked to save me Bill." I turned back to him. "I can't walk away from that." "Jesus Dana," He averted his eyes to the TV. "it sounds like he's your husband and you're talking about leaving him." I thought about that and suppressed a smile. Bill needed a good tease. Perhaps, if I just could fake it for a few minutes . . . " I wouldn't know Bill, having never been married. I can imagine what it would be like sometimes, especially after an exhausting night." I sensual smile, hoping Bill would understand I meant exhausted like after a night of wild unending sex. Not that I had experienced one lately, but . . . "After a long night, I like to sleep in; when I wake up, he's there next to me, his arms around me, watching me sleep. Do you ever watch Tara sleep?" It took everything I had not to dissolve into laughter as Bill stared at me, wide-eyed. On purpose, I let my face go soft and dreamy eyed, as though I was recalling Mulder watching me with bedroom eyes. In reality, I was remembering all the hospitals I had awakened in with him sitting there, watching me. Waking up to his face had always been soothing, especially in hospitals. "Dana!" Bill choked. "Don't tell me you're . . ." "Involved?" I asked, after a considerable pause. I would have killed for a picture of the look on his face. "Mom didn't tell you? I thought the family knew. We've been together for months now." I don't know how I managed to keep a straight face, but I did. Bill was taking me so seriously; he would never imagine me joking about a thing like this. "How?!" He demanded, astonished. "It seemed natural." I told him. "We spend so much time together anyway, there's physical attraction and friendship. What more do you need?" After working with Mulder for all this time, even I could come up with a believable lie. "Dana, you're not serious are you? The two of you hardly have anything in common . . . and, God, you can't be serious." "It's amazing what you find in common with someone after they save your life a few times and you save theirs as well." I told him sternly. Hadn't the smoking man said that mixing truth and lies made the truth harder to find? Well, it was the truth. After we saved each other's lives, we always seemed to have more in common, to be closer to one another. "Do you really hate him that much Bill?" "I wouldn't say hate. It's not quite a strong enough word. I would use despise, loathe or abhor." Suddenly my phone gave a loud ring that caused us both to jump. I smiled at Bill, suppressing laughter; I knew it was Mulder. I padded gently to the phone, picked it up and walked back to the sofa. "Mulder?" "Yeah." The word is no more than a sigh, his voice soft, sexy. I heard him swallow in the ensuing pause. "How did you know it was me?" "I just did." I answered, suddenly serene. "Am I interrupting anything?" "No Mulder. We were just talking about you. About the both of us actually." I couldn't help but tease and this time I was free to smile as I did so. "We?" He asked. "Bill's over for dinner. He's in town on business." "Oh." I could almost see his cringe over the phone. Mulder cared very little about how most people saw him, but I knew he cared how Bill saw him. "It's all right Mulder. Why did you call?" "It's nothing Scully." His reply was muted; his sudden enthusiasm was deflated. "Tell me." Curiosity killed the cat. I reminded myself, almost regretting my insistence. "Later Scully. Call me when Mr. . . . when your brother is gone." He sounded like a scared rabbit. It was obvious Mulder had called because he was lonely and wanted some company, namely me. I wished he and Bill could get along so I could spend time with them both. Suddenly I was struck by an idea. "Mulder, come over. Bring a bottle of wine and some ice cream. I'm going to make you and Bill friends." While I spoke, I looked at Bill, watching him shirk away; he knew that neither he nor Mulder would leave until they were friends. "I don't know if that's such a good idea Scully." He sounded nervous, his voice halting with trepidation. "You two should just spend time together. I know he lives far away. You must not see him often." "Come over Mulder, or you'll regret it for the rest of the week." I shot back, mock angry. "How?" He asked, suddenly curious and not afraid. "I won't do you any favors." I replied, sultry and let loose a wicked grin. The only answer I got was a choking sound from both men. "Ww-what favors?" He squeaked. I was sure he knew exactly what I meant but didn't believe I had just said it. "You know what I mean Mulder." I whispered. "Sc-Scully, are you drunk?" His voice had taken on an awestruck and horrified quality. I rolled my eyes. "Just come over Mulder. It will be better than you think." Again both men choked and I realized the latent sexuality in my comment. I hung up the phone and gave Bill a half smile to ease his shock at the my half of the conversation. He stared at me, swallowing convulsively, trying to decide what to say. I smiled at him again, attempting to calm him further. He continued to stare, apparently trying to decide if he really knew me or not. "Sorry Bill. He can be stubborn sometimes." My comment finally prompted a response from him. "You weren't kidding." He was dead serious. "Bill, this is the most intense relationship with a man I've ever had in my life." I replied with the same seriousness and the truth he had showed me. I just prayed he wouldn't notice that I didn't answer him. "Will you be nice?" I asked. "I'll try." He sighed. "I just don't know how we can have a conversation." "You two have a lot more in common than you think. I'll just play mediator and you'll see." "All right." He agreed, but I could still hear the obstinate disapproval in his voice. Two stubborn men. What a laugh this would be. I smiled again, turning back to the TV. Twenty minutes later Mulder arrived; I saw his car pull up through the window and waited for his footsteps in the hall. I heard them, along with a tentative knock before he unlocked the door with the key I had given him. He stepped into my apartment quietly, calling my name as he pulled off his coat. I looked at Bill, and we stood, walking to the door to greet him. He smiled when he saw me and glanced awkwardly at Bill. I took his coat, hugged him briefly and looked up. The quiet pools of brown that were his eyes glowed down at me with surprise while I took the wine and ice cream from his large hands, touching him longer than necessary. I looked between the two men and told them to sit in the den while I prepared dessert. I caught murmurs of uneasy conversation as I scooped the mint ice cream, my favorite, into three bowls and placed them onto a tray with the bottle of red wine and three wine glasses. In the living room, Mulder and Bill had taken seats on opposite sides of the room. Bill sat in the armchair next to the TV, and Mulder on the sofa across the room. I put the wine and ice cream on the table between them and took my bowl, sitting next to Mulder on the sofa. After both had settled back with their dessert I pulled my feet onto the sofa and cuddled with Mulder as though he was a pillow. He glanced at Bill, gauging his reaction, before asking, with his surprised eyes, if he could hold me. I gave the permission he sought and sighed in his embrace. Bill said nothing so I took Mulder's hand, squeezing it, indicating he should start the conversation. He cleared his throat awkwardly and looked at Bill. "What are you doing in DC?" He asked. "There's a conference for the forces this weekend. Dana invited me over for dinner tonight. We were talking and I found out about the two of you . . ." He dropped off, studying us awkwardly. Mulder's jaw almost dropped as he turned to look at me. "What did you tell him?" He asked me, seemingly frightened. "You didn't tell him about . . ." He dropped off, unsure of how to continue the question. "No, Mulder. Relax." I quickly raised an eyebrow and smiled at him with my eyes. "I told him about US." As I spoke, my gaze didn't waver from his. He relaxed against my arm and his eyes smiled back in understanding. "Oh." He replied, before looking up at Bill and giving a half smile. He looked like he was going to say more, but thankfully, he didn't. Instead, he quietly asked about Tara's health, and about the baby. I smiled as Bill immediately warmed to the subject. Soon he and Mulder began a discussion going on how to raise children. I was surprised to learn that Mulder had worked in a day care center during his college years, and had strong opinions on the subject. Bill had many opinions of his own, and the two argued back and forth, good-naturedly, for hours. I was content to listen and enjoy being in Mulder's embrace. After making a lengthy point, Bill looked down at his watch and commented that it was after midnight and he had to leave. I nodded and rose to escort him out. Mulder followed me and within moments, he was gone. We returned silently to my sofa, and Mulder poured another glass of wine. "So, you told him about 'US'?" He asked, frankly. His voice was serious, face stern as though he was going to chide me. A giggle escaped my lips and I leaned into the arm of the sofa, laughing helplessly. I knew the wine was in my bloodstream, making me giddy, but it was still funny to see both Mulder's and Bill's reactions. Then, suddenly I felt a hand on my chin, Mulder's hand, pulling my face so he could see what I was doing. I gave him a brilliant smile and he smiled back, looking a little dazed. "He was begging for a con Mulder. Bill's even more tightly laced than I am. You just gave him a relaxing and stimulating evening." I stopped. I sounded positively gleeful. Recognition of my own emotions made me feel even better. The smile didn't fade. Mulder leaned in close, his body hovering over mine. "Were you stimulated tonight Scully?" His voice was dark, throaty with desire that could have been real or just a joke. I couldn't respond; I was lost in his enormous pupils. Suddenly my breaths were short little pants, and my whole body warmed, blood thundering in my groin. "Mulder!" I gasped. He moved his body flush against mine, pushing me back into the sofa cushions. I could feel the tension in his form, his penis pressed against my thigh, beginning to harden. "Did you like it Scully?" His question was forced out between rapid breaths. I was breathless all night from the feel of his hands touching my bare skin. His fingers holding me beneath my shirt and his thumbs gently stroking my back had driven me to distraction. There was no way I could deny my own arousal. I was wet with desire for him. "Yes." I whispered. "I liked it." I felt his body press harder against mine. "Good." His reply was no more than a low groan. "I love -" He began and then suddenly his body jerked away from mine and he stood, tumbling backward. "I'm sorry Scully. I shouldn't have done that. I have to-" His tone was frantic, his eyes holding an unexpected terror. "Mulder!" I interrupted loudly. Did he think he was taking advantage of me in a partially drunken state? Two glasses of wine didn't change my ability to judge a situation. I knew he was coming on to me. I liked it. Hell, he was doing just what I wanted. I stood and grabbed his arm, pushing him roughly back on the sofa and mounting him without hesitation. Enough teasing. He had pushed me too far this time; I couldn't pretend that he didn't mean the half completed sentence. "You love what Mulder?" I hissed, my voice fiery. Without moving my hips, I leaned closer, pressing our chests together; his heart beat rapidly against mine. "I . . . " My position allowed me to look directly into his eyes. And I saw that despite his inability to speak, he was not afraid any more. Instead, I gazed at unmistakable signs of powerful arousal. Apparently, my violence was a turn on for Mulder. I let one of my hands slip down into his lap, and slowly trace his cock with two fingers. "You what?" With a strangled cry he pulled my hand away and pressed his lips tightly against mine in a bruising, fevered kiss. I kissed him back ferociously, his soft lips moving against mine with a maddening lack of friction. With my free hand I pulled his head closer to mine and pressed my tongue into his mouth. Eagerly, his tongue met and caressed mine, then moved into my mouth to trace my teeth and memorize the hot dimensions. I let him touch and taste at his leisure, but, by no means was I waiting helplessly; I pressed my hips against his roughly, smiling as we both gasped with the contact. He made no move to protest as I worked my fingers under his shirt and touched him where he had been caressing me all night. When I couldn't wait any longer to breathe, I broke the kiss and pulled his shirt off as I gasped at the air. I looked at him a moment, finally able to stare, uninhibited, at his body. Then I leaned in, kissing his cheek, his jaw line and finally pressing my lips against his neck. I nipped at the skin behind his ear and his hips thrust up into mine as he gasped my name. "You like that Mulder?" I murmured into his ear. Not waiting for a reply, I nipped him again and continued down his throat, licking, kissing, biting. "Scully . . .Oh God . . ." His voice was a velvet moan, as arousing as his touch. His hands clutched my waist, blindly searching my fly. When he found the button he pulled at it roughly, opening my jeans. He pushed his hand into my pants and I groaned as he rubbed my clit through my underwear. As he continued I couldn't remember what I was doing to him, my eyes slipped closed and I panted against his neck. "Scully, you're so wet." He was breathless, pushing his hand down farther into my pants, moving his fingers in rapid circles. I pressed against him and he rubbed harder, until I was rocking against him. "Scully, I want to taste you." His hand came out of my jeans, and he tugged at them. I shivered at his words, my eyes jumping to meet his. He wants to . . .Oh God . . . as if my drenched underwear wasn't enough evidence of my arousal. Somehow, I'm more aroused now than I was before. And then my barely functioning brain reminds me of sunflower seeds, his oral fixation. I was standing in less than a second, stumbling as I tried to refocus. "Bedroom." Was all I could manage to say, dragging him with me. Just before I reached the bedroom, he jerked my wrist, turning me so I faced him. Before I could even ask what was wrong, I was in his arms, he carried me into the bedroom and gently placed me on the bed. His touch was tender as his arms left me and he kissed me softly, he lips barley brushing mine. "Don't move." He whispered as he drew away. I remained as still as possible, struggling to calm my breathing, while he stripped down to his boxers. All I could do was try to memorize every centimeter of skin and ripple of muscle as he moved. He was perfect. The streetlight filtering through my blinds partially illuminated the deep golden skin of his body, the outline of his pecks, his dark nipples, the curly shadow of hair along his chest, and his sculpted stomach. He leaned down, removing his shoes, then his pants and socks. His eyes turned back to mine and I saw both the hunger and laughter there. "Do you see something you want Scully?" He asked with a wolf grin. "Oh yes. . ." I let the word linger on my lips, surprised at how throaty my voice came out. "I lost a man between the sofa and the bed, he's about six feet tall, brown hair, hazel eyes, the body of the god Apollo. Have you seen him?" "I don't know, maybe." As Mulder spoke, I watched him settle his body over mine. He stared at my face, taking in the way I looked aroused and emotionally naked. I ran my fingers from his hips up his body. I traced the muscles of his stomach and flicked at his nipples, before slipping my hands behind his shoulders and pulling him towards me. "Get down here Mulder." The rough passion I felt on the couch, which had calmed with his soft touch, was rekindled with my growl. I felt his whole body arch towards mine, but he resisted. "Not yet Scully." He breathed, pulling gently away. Instead, he cupped my face in one of his hands, tracing my eyebrows, nose, lips and cheeks with his thumb. I closed my eyes, all my senses focused on the solitary contact. His lips touched my eyelids and followed a path along my hairline, over my forehead. I sighed and relaxed into the bed as he continued, placing tiny wet kisses along my jaw line and then down my neck, nipping at the sensitive skin. I turned my head to allow him better access and he moved to where my neck and shoulder met. I felt him slide the t- shirt aside and without warning it was his tongue giving the caress, a thousand tiny taste-buds sending a jolt of surprise and pleasure through me. I gave a little gasp and he murmured something against my skin and moved his mouth to my ear. There was a pause, during which all I felt was his hot breath; it was enough to make me open my eyes. He was staring at me. Not at my body, which was still fully dressed, just at my face. His eyes were full of a rapture that I could equate only with saints and angels. "Scully," He whispered. "you're beautiful, the most beautiful woman in the world." I grinned at his words; I had been waiting forever to hear him say that. "You're not too bad looking your self Agent Mulder." I murmured, my voice reflecting my smile. Our eyes remained locked as I let my hands slide off his back. I instead ran my fingers up his chest, flicking at his nipples none too gently. He stifled a gasp and slowly pushed my t-shirt aside. His eyes looked deep into mine and I knew he was searching for fear, for insecurity; he wanted to know I was sure. "Please Mulder, touch me." His unasked question convinced me further that this was right, that we were right. It also reminded me, of not ten minutes ago, how he had his hand down my pants, how his fingers made the world fade away. Those same fingers moved over my stomach, a touch so faint it was teasing, maddening. I gasped as pleasure spread through my groin. He was playing with me, his every touch heightening my arousal and winding me tighter. I couldn't wait any longer; his slow seduction was making me frantic. Without a word I reached down, pulled off the shirt, unclasped my bra, and threw it aside. "More, Mulder." His eyes darkened further at my words, and he buried his face in my stomach, flicking his tongue into my belly button and then kissing a path up to my breasts, burying his face between them, before suckling my hard nipples. The gentle nip of his teeth and the texture of his tongue made my breath disappear, only to have it return as his hands slipped my jeans and underwear down my legs. I clutched at his hair, closing my eyes against the overload of sensations. I tried to tell him how wonderful his touch was, but it came out as a low moan. "Mulder . . ." His name rolled perfectly off my lips. "Mulder . . ." He released my breast and looked at my nude body. His mouth went to my ankles, up the underside of my calves and thighs. When he reached my thighs he stopped a moment, breathing against my skin again. Then, I felt his tongue moving towards my dripping core, tracing meaningless patterns that made my body tense. I could hardly breathe from the anticipation of waiting. His mouth closed over me, his tongue lapping, licking up and down. It felt so good I wanted to weep. My hips jerked off the bed as I reached for his head, for anything to hold on to. I heard myself gasping, groaning, but all that mattered was the pleasure; Mulder was going to make me come, hard. His tongue slowed and instead I felt his fingers inside me, his thumb brushing against my clit. I pulled my eyes open and the world came slowly into focus, Mulder laying beside me, my hand clutching his. I meet his eyes and saw passion and a raw needy love that awed me. "Come for me Scully." His fingers began to thrust in and out slowly. I used all my power to keep my eyes open as his thumb stroked my clit again, harder. I was incredibly close, my whole body rigid with the pleasure. "I love you Dana." Just as I heard the words he pressed thumb against me and I came with a sob. His fingers kept moving as I thrashed. I felt as though I had been lifted onto a cloud; I knew I was lying on my bed, but it felt as though the ground was a few feet below me, and my pleasure was carrying me along. After an eternity, I came down, limp and purring with the energy. My breath was fast and shallow as I tried to return to myself. Mulder slid his fingers from my body and I groaned again, forcing my eyes open. "I love you." I pulled my body flush against his and kissed him slowly, tasting myself. "I will always love you." As I whispered to him I took hold of his boxers and pulled. They came loose quickly and I climbed atop him again. He let out a long low groan as I lowered my body onto his. "Scully, you feel so good . . ." He groaned again as I leaned forward, kissing him gently. I held my body over his as we began to rock together. Our murmurs of pleasure formed a sensual harmony as I moved faster. I closed my eyes and tightened against him. He thrust harder and I gasped. "God . . .Scully, I . . ." "More, Mulder." I repeated, moving even faster, forcing him deeper. He groaned and increased his motions to match mine. Every place his skin touched mine I smoldered, and his deep thrusts were shocking, setting me afire in places I had forgotten existed. His arousal was powerful, feeding into mine and mine back into his. Unbelievably, I knew I was going to come again; the thought drove me higher. I realized that somewhere along the way, I had lost control, and the thought was freeing. "Mulder!" I managed to gasp his name as I came. He shouted my name and came with me. His semen was warm, and fulfilling, the completion of another bond. Now no one could separate us; we were within each other. I collapsed atop him, burying my face in the crook of his neck. His heartbeat was frantic against mine, his chest rising and falling just as quickly. I did nothing to hold back the tears in my eyes, and they dropped against his skin with my gasping sobs. Mulder's fingers worked their way into my hair, smoothing and caressing tenderly. His hand gently massaged my spine. "Scully . . . oh love." I wrapped my arms more tightly around him, unable to stop the tears from flowing. Gently he rolled onto his side, our bodies slipping apart as he pried my face away from his shoulder, wiping the tears away. I opened my eyes and saw him looking at me, tears slipping silently down his face; I watched one drip off his face and onto the sheets. It made me smile and I kissed away the moisture the tear had left. "This is the best day of my life." I whispered. "I've wanted you for so long . . ." "Always" He concluded softly. "I've always wanted you. There's never been anyone like you Scully. I love you. I have loved you. I'll love you forever." "Forever." I intoned. "I swear Mulder, I love you. I'll never ever leave you." His eyes watered again at my words, and he raised his lips to mine in an infinitely tender kiss. When his lips separated from mine I was breathless with the love he managed to put in one brief kiss. "God Scully. Me too. I swear to love you. I'll never leave you in the dark again. No more secrets." I gave him a long slow smile of my own and settled against his body comfortably. "Let's go to sleep Mulder. We have the rest of our lives to make love and be together." He let out a low groan at that thought and kissed me gently as I closed my eyes. "Hey Scully." He whispered a few moments later. "Yeah?" "Since Bill and I are friends now, do you think I could tell him he caused us to become lovers?" "I think that can wait until he's boarding the plane, love." I murmured and went to sleep. Send feedback! zeza3@aol.com