Title: Happiness -  Lies and Excuses
Author: shawntaw
Category: MSR, Au
Rating: PG

Disclaimer: I don't own these characters.  I am making no profit. But 
I am sure letting them have some fun...

Summary: Why are Mulder, Skinner, Bill Scully and Byers all in their 
underwear?  And, more importantly, why are all the women laughing?

Feedback makes me very happy at shawntaw@hotmail.com  :)

TO DANIELA LABOD WHO HAS MADE A WEBSITE OF MY STORIES:

www.geocities.com/corran_14776/shawntaw.html

Thank you.:)


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Bill Scully immediately sputtered and threw his hands up to defend 
himself.

Skinner, seeing exactly what Mulder had in mind, rolled off of Bill 
and held his hands up in surrender.

Mulder squirted him once in the face anyway.

*It isn't everyday one has this opportunity*

Mulder smiled slightly at the thought...

and then to his shock was blind-sided and tackled to the ground.

"Fox Mulder! I've waited a long time for this!  You want some of this 
too?!"

Bill Scully lay heavily across his back.

"Are all you men completely insane?!" Maggie shouted.

Skinner scooted across the yard, caked with freezing mud, and 
comandeered the waterhose..

and got his turn to torture Bill Scully with a spray to the face.

Mulder crabbed across the ground trying to get away.

Skinner sprayed him once in the seat of the pants for good measure.

The sirens grew louder.

"Everyone in the house!  I think someone called the police!" Scully 
shouted at the three men.

The muddy, motley, bleeding and rumpled group slipped and slid their 
way the front door of Maggie Scully's home.

Skinner sneezed suddenly, breaking the lull.

"This isn't over by a long shot," Bill said loudly as they tromped 
inside.

**********************************************************************

Byers held his breath.

He let it out and inhaled deeply.

*Showtime*

Kim cracked open the door and slipped inside.

"Ok, they're drinking water, sitting at my table. Ready?"

He nodded and began to move toward the door.

"Wait," she stopped him with a touch to the arm and ruffled his hair 
so that it stuck up slightly.

"Better," she smiled, "Let's go."

**********************************************************************

The muddy troop stomped into Maggie's entryway.

Scully and Bill, familiar with their mother's protocol in such 
matters, immediately began to shed their filthy clothing.

For Scully this meant only her shoes and socks, but Bill continued 
stripping down and piling his clothes on the now soiled entryway.

Scully stepped away onto the carpeted area, next to her mother.

The women regarded Skinner and Mulder with identical raised eyebrows.

"Well?" Maggie said.

Skinner and Mulder looked at one another.

Skinner said it first, "What?"

"The rule is that all muddy clothing must left at the door. It is a 
long-standing rule in my household made from having children who play 
football and wrestle in the yard."

Scully's mouth quirked at the sight of Skinner's mouth falling open.

*Never thought I'd live to see Skinner flustered*

Scully shook her head, smiling.

Mulder was looking at her with an embarrassed, but amused, look on 
his face.

He shrugged and reached up and pulled the mud-soaked shirt from his 
back.

Skinner squinted at the two women standing on the carpet, arms 
crossed and trying not to smile.

He cleared his throat.  One was his date and one was his subordinate.

And they were going to see him in nothing but his underwear.

He wondered why it didn't bother Mulder.

Skinner turned to look at him.

Mulder paused in mid-unzip to translate the weird look Skinner was 
giving him.

"Oh," he figured it out, "Well, its nothing she hasn't seen before," 
Mulder said, gesturing towards Scully, who then blushed deeply and 
dropped her eyes.

"And, she's practically adopted me," Mulder waved his hand at Maggie 
Scully, whose smile deepened with affection toward him.

Satisfied with his explanation, Mulder stripped off his jeans and 
stood expectantly in his black boxer briefs.

Bill Scully was scowling at him from where he stood in his white, 
cotton boxers.

"What?!" Mulder said, "What the hell did I do now?"

"Nothing she hasn't seen before?!" Bill responded through gritted 
teeth, "How nice of you to mention that in front of her MOTHER."

Mulder closed his eyes in resignation.

"Give me a break, Bill," Mulder's eyes popped open at Scully's voice.

Maggie Scully didn't say anything.  She was too busy watching Walter 
Skinner strip.

Skinner finally stood beside his own pile of muddied clothing, clad 
in only his briefs.

*Why didn't I wear boxers?*

Skinner blushed to the top of his bald head when he looked up and saw 
Maggie regarding him with a steady gaze.

To his utter shock, she turned to her daughter and said in a stage 
whisper,
"See, there are advantages to dating a younger man."

Bill Scully and Mulder nearly fell over in shock as Scully's stunned 
laughter reverberated off the walls.

**********************************************************************

Byers stepped timidly into Kim's living room.  

He could see Frohike's back and the side of Langley's face from where 
they sat at her table conversing.

"She doesn't know where he went; she's just playing games with us, 
Fro," Langley was saying.

"I'm right here, guys.  What I would like to know is why you found it 
neccessary to come after me.  I said I'd be back later."

Byers wished he had a recording of the startled jump and the 
astonished expression on their faces as they turned to face him.

"Byers?!" That from Langley, whose eyebrows had disappeared into his 
tangled blond bangs.

A smile crawled across Frohike's face and then he had the grace to 
blush a scarlet red across his cheeks.

"Um, I think maybe we should be going," he said, standing 
abruptly, "We're REALLY sorry we came by, man.  We'll explain later."

Frohike was tugging on Langley's arm.  Langley stood automatically 
and tried to shut his gaping mouth.

"Yes, you will," Byers said with an indignant air and tugged on his 
robe.

What he didn't know was that he still had a slight lipstick mark on 
the side of his mouth from Kimberly's kiss earlier.

Kim, who was standing off to one side, saw it and had to stifle the 
urge to giggle as Byer's two buddies practically ran over one another 
on their way to the door.

"Sorry to disturb you, Kim," Frohike said hastily, opening the front 
door.

"Yeah," Langley agreed, walking speedily into the hallway and pulling 
Frohike behind him with a firm yank.

The door slammed shut and peace fell once again in Kimberly's 
apartment.

"Well," she said in a laughing tone, "I'd say that went well."

**********************************************************************

Bill's face had paled at his mother's brazenness.

"Mother!"

"Oh, Bill, calm down! It was just a joke!" Maggie sternly faced her 
son.

Bill blinked several times.  

*Of course it was just a joke...my mother's a good Catholic 
woman...right?
And at least Skinner was having the grace and respect not to smirk...*

He regarded Skinner, who was studiously looking at his own feet.

A hush fell over the group as the sirens that had caused the group to 
flee indoors obviously entered the street and drew closer.

Maggie clapped her hands decisively, "Alright, Walter and Fox can use 
the upstairs bathrooms and Bill, you can use the half bath down here 
to clean up a little while you wait for one of them to be done."

Three underwear-clad males stared at her in confusion at the sudden 
change in topic.

Scully stepped forward and pulled on Mulder's arm, "Come on, Mulder.  
I'll show you where everything is...you too, sir."

She reached out another hand and pulled Skinner by his wrist.

Mulder swallowed back a laugh at their situation as he watched his 
petite, female partner manhandle their imposing, brief-clad 
supervisor toward the stairs.

Skinner squinted at him menacingly.

"Don't even think about it, Mulder."

Mulder wiped the almost-smile from his face...

Mostly.

**********************************************************************

I had half of this written the same day I posted the last part, but 
RL intervened and well, you know the rest.  Now this part is 
done..finally!:)  Just wanted to let you know that I am still having 
fun with this and "Happiness" will continue...

Oh, and please feed the author....my feedback rations have been a 
little sparse lately..

(shawntaw making pitiful face)....*L*