Caring (PG)
by Donna  
 
"Scully? Did you hear me?"
She focused her eyes on him, "What? Sorry Mulder. What did you say?"
"I asked if you wanted to get some lunch? Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I’m fine, just thinking. I’m not really hungry, you go ahead."
"I can bring you something." He stood and stretched, then reached for his jacket 
draped over the back of his chair. She shook her head and he looked at her 
carefully, then shrugged and headed for the door. What in the world had her so 
distracted today?
When he returned from lunch she was gone, but he didn’t think anything of it. 
Maybe she’d gotten hungry after all. An hour later he began to wonder where she 
might have gone and looked for a note. When another half-hour had passed he 
picked up the phone and dialed her cellular. He heard it ring from her briefcase 
beside the desk.
Okay, that was definitely not like her. He did stupid things like that, not her. 
Where had she gone and why hadn’t she left a note? Well he wasn’t accomplishing 
anything here; wonder if her car was still in the garage? It was, so he made a 
quick tour of the labs and areas she frequented. He quickly concluded that she 
was no longer in the building. She wouldn’t have gone home without her car, so 
she was somewhere in the area.
What the hell; he headed back for his car. He wasn’t accomplishing anything 
anyway. Once in the car he realized he didn’t have a clear destination in mind. 
Where should he start? She had been deep in thought when he had tried to talk to 
her, so maybe she just went somewhere to think without interruption.
Well, she was going to be interrupted if he could find her.
He found her on the bench, their bench, overlooking the reflecting pool. She 
didn’t seem to hear him approach and he didn’t want to startle her, so he stood 
for a couple of minutes just watching her. She seemed to be a million miles 
away. He found a growing disquiet from that. He wanted her to notice him; to 
know he’d been concerned enough to come looking for her.
That was stupid, he wasn’t some high school boy wanting a girl to notice him. 
This was Scully, his partner, his best friend, most times his only friend. 
Something was bothering her and he should be thinking about her, not himself.
He slid onto the bench beside her. "Scully? You okay?"
"Mulder? What are you doing here?" She smiled at him puzzled, "I thought you 
were going to lunch."
"Scully, it’s after four."
"What? Oh Mulder, it can’t be." She looked down at her watch. "Oh my god. I’m 
sorry, I had no idea."
"Are you sure you’re okay?" He reached for her hand, "Damn, Scully! You’re 
frozen. Have you been here all along?"
"Yes. I was just thinking. I didn’t mean to worry you."
"I wasn’t worried." He protested until that eyebrow went up. "Okay, maybe a 
little. Come on, we’ve got to get you inside somewhere. I’ll take you home."
"No, not my apartment. I don’t want to go there."
"Okay." He said slowly. What was going on with her? He took both of her hands in 
his to rub them and pulled her to her feet. Then he put his arms around her, 
massaging warmth back into her arms and shoulders.
"That feels good, thanks."
"How about an early dinner, since you missed lunch? We could . . . "
"I have to go to Mom’s for dinner tonight. I think that’s why I’ve been so 
spaced out."
"You don’t want to have dinner with your mother?" Now with his mother that would 
require no further explanation but Mrs. Scully was great.
"It’s . . . Mulder, it’s Melissa’s birthday. I’m just not looking forward to 
facing her alone."
Melissa’s birthday. No wonder she didn’t want to go to her apartment. He 
remembered plenty of dinners on Samantha’s birthdays. He hated to even think of 
Scully having to go through that.
"Think she’d mind if I came along?" Had he really said that? Oh yeah, he really 
wanted to be there for that. He hadn’t done it enough over the last 25 years? 
What had possessed him?
"Do you mean that Mulder? Would you really come with me?"
Well, that settled that. Of course he’d do it, for her. He hadn’t realized his 
masochistic streak was still growing. He’d always hoped it would be like his 
feet or his height and finally come to a halt. No such luck.
"No, Mulder. I’m sorry. I can’t ask that. I wasn’t thinking." Oh, she was 
reading his face again.
"And miss a Maggie Scully home-cooked meal? I’m going even if you don’t. But 
come on now. I’ve got to get you inside somewhere." If he kept rubbing her arms 
and back like this he wouldn’t be welcome at her mother’s house.

He hurried her to his car, where he turned the heat up full and rather than 
worry about the office, headed on over to Mrs. Scully’s house. Her warmth 
enveloped them both immediately and she seemed more than glad that he had joined 
them.
She put them to work and it was nothing like what he had expected. Mrs. Scully 
wasn’t morbid about Melissa, she was even telling funny stories about her. His 
family was really warped. This was healthy and normal. Well, there you go.
As Mulder and Scully were carrying the food into the dining room she stopped 
him. "Thank you for being here. It would have been a lot more morose without 
you."
He looked at her surprised. "No problem, Scully. I always enjoy coming here."
She smiled up at him, then as her mother came in behind her, moved away from him 
and put her dish on the table.
They were barely seated when the doorbell rang. Mrs. Scully excused herself and 
headed toward the door.
"I don't believe it! Come in, come in!" Mulder looked over at Scully, who 
shrugged.
"Dana, look! It's Bill!" Mrs. Scully was pulling her son into the dining room. 
Mulder could feel his smile turning wooden. He glanced over at Scully who sent 
him a silent apology, then rose to hug her brother.
"Why didn't you tell me you were coming?" Mrs. Scully was still holding Bill's 
arm. Mulder wanted an answer to that question as well. If he had known Bill was 
coming . . . 
"I couldn't be sure it would all work out, and I didn't want to disappoint you." 
He kissed her cheek again.
"Well I'm just delighted! I want to hear all about the family. Here, sit down, 
let me get you a plate." She hurried into the kitchen.
"Mulder, I didn't expect to see you here." The smile had left Bill's face as 
well.
"Bill . . . " Scully's voice was warning.
"Yeah, you surprised me too." Mulder responded, then everyone retreated to his 
or her corner as they heard Mrs. Scully returning.
Her superior skills as hostess kept the meal upbeat and cordial. Stories of 
Melissa and the other kid’s childhoods continued and Mulder filed them away to 
use later when visualizing Scully as a little girl. He actually did have a good 
time, in spite of the additional company.
They rose and Mulder helped Scully clear the table while Mrs. Scully served 
dessert and Bill started the coffee.
"You fellows take this on in the living room, Dana and I will bring the coffee." 
Mrs. Scully handed each of the men two plates and shooed them out of the 
kitchen.
Mulder followed Bill into the living room and sat his plates on the coffee 
table. He turned back to see if there was anything else he could do to help.
"Mulder." Bill hissed at him and grabbed his arm. "You work with my sister, that 
doesn't give you the right to be here."
"Scully invited me . . . "
"I'm Scully too. My mother is too much of a lady to throw you out, even though 
you are the reason Melissa’s gone. Leave Dana alone. Give her a chance for a 
life, a family of her own."
"Scully and I are partners. We don't . . . "
"Don't give me that Mulder. I've seen the way you look at her." They both looked 
toward the door as they heard footsteps approaching. "Let her have a real life!" 
He hissed urgently and stepped away, releasing his grip on Mulder's arm.
Scully entered carrying the tray, her mother a couple of steps behind her. 
Scully hesitated, feeling the tension in the room and tried to catch Mulder's 
eye. She was unsuccessful. What had happened between them in such a short time?
When dessert was finished, Scully put her cup down. "Mom, Mulder and I have a 
meeting first thing in the morning and we still have a report to finish. We'll 
let you and Bill visit, Mulder and I have to get back to work."
"Oh Dana, are you sure you have to go so early?"
"Yes, Mom. We've got to get this report done. I'll call you tomorrow."
Mulder rose. He didn't know what report she was referring to, but he wasn't 
about to miss a chance at escape.
"Thank you for having me, Mrs. Scully."
"You are always welcome here, Fox. Thank you for making this evening so much 
more enjoyable for me." Mulder couldn't hide his startled look. Mrs. Scully gave 
him a gentle smile and kissed his cheek. "I'll talk to you tomorrow, Dana." She 
hugged her and walked them to the door.
Mulder was silent on the way to the car and didn't put his hand on her back, but 
opened the door for her. That surprised her, but she waited until he was in the 
car before speaking.
"What did Bill say to you?" He didn't respond, pulling away from the curb. 
"Mulder, what happened between you two? I need to know."
"Don't worry about it. He was just being a big brother. I'd probably be a lot 
worse if I'd been given the chance."
"Stop it Mulder. I'm not buying it. He has no right to interfere in my personal 
life."
Personal life? Bill was right, he had no business being with them tonight. "Let 
it go, Scully. I'm fine."
She knew from that tone she wouldn't get any more out of him tonight. He walked 
her to the door, but wouldn't stay, even at her insistence. He needed to be 
alone; to think.
"I've seen the way you look at her." What did that mean? What had Bill seen? 
What did he think he'd seen, rather? She was his partner; of course he looked at 
her. He didn't look at her any special way. He didn't! At least, he didn't think 
anyone had noticed when he did. Damn it!
*****
He was outside Mrs. Scully’s house waiting when Bill emerged the next morning. 
He stepped from the car and Bill spotted him. He sighed and walked toward the 
car.
"Stalking my mother now?"
"Could we have a cup of coffee or breakfast? I need to talk to you."
"What could we possibly have to talk about? I said everything I needed to say 
last night."
"Please. I can drop you off after that."
Bill shook his head, but that would be better than taking his mother’s car for 
the day. She might need it. He looked Mulder over one more time.
"Fine. Your treat." Mulder looked down and grinned. Yeah, that was Bill.
 
They were seated in the diner Mulder often frequented, but now he was beginning 
to think he’d made a mistake attempting to talk to Bill of all people.
"I’m waiting. You wanted to talk to me, not the other way around."
"You’re right. I need you to explain what you said to me last night."
"What I said? About you intruding on my family’s personal time together? What 
about that needed further explanation?"
"You said you’d seen the way I look at Scully. What do you mean? She’s my 
partner and yes, we’re friends, but what do you mean look at her?"
Bill stared at him, was he kidding? Was he a bigger fool than Bill had thought? 
Surely he knew . . .
"What? Why are you looking at me like that?"
"You can’t be serious. You don’t know how you feel about Dana? Come on!"
"I care about your sister, more than anyone else in the world. She’s my partner 
and we’re friends, but . . . "
Bill’s eyes narrowed. The SOB didn’t know, he honestly didn’t know. "You’re 
sitting here telling me that you don’t know that you’re in love with my sister?"
"In love? No." He was shaking his head.
Bill’s shoulders sagged, "The worst part is she thinks she loves you too. Damn." 
He looked up at Mulder’s incredulous face. "What universe do you live in Mulder? 
Don’t you have any contact with the real world?"
"Maybe it’s true about how I feel; maybe I can concede that. But she doesn’t 
love me."
"Believe me I’ve tried to convince her of the same thing."

"What did she say?" He almost had his voice under control; at least it didn’t 
break.
"To butt out. That it was none of my business. But it is my business. I won’t 
watch my sister throw her life away. You . . . "
Mulder was shaking his head, "You’re wrong. She’s better than that. Better than 
I even aspire to. You don’t have to worry about that or me." He started to rise 
from the booth, but Bill’s hand shot out and stopped him. He leaned back, 
wanting to shake Bill’s hand off.
"Finish your coffee, Mulder. I’m not ready to go and you are my ride."
Oh yeah, he had said he’d drop him off. He reached for his cup and realized his 
hand was not quite steady. For a second he hoped Bill wouldn’t notice. No such 
luck.
"Mulder, you’re a real ass, you know?" Bill spoke almost companionably.
"Thanks. Coming from you that’s a real compliment."
Bill regarded him for a minute. "I didn’t realize I was in love with Tara at 
first either. Of course I have a little more to offer a woman – stability, 
sanity, - "
"Your point?" He really had made a mistake trying to talk to Bill. What had he 
been thinking?
"Just that when I knew I was in love with Tara and wanted to spend my life with 
her, I didn’t already have a thousand strikes against me. You know, I’ve never 
tried to kill her?" Bill watched Mulder’s jaw tighten and saw his eyes actually 
change color. Was he getting through to the jerk? Could he see just how bad, how 
wrong he was for her? What was it going to take?
"Have you finished?"
"Depends. Have you been listening?"
"I meant your breakfast." Mulder motioned to the plate in front of Bill.
"Yeah. But anytime you want to have one of these little chats Mulder, you just 
call me, okay?"
"You’ll be first on my list." He slid from the booth and headed for his car. He 
didn’t speak, driving in silence, following Bill’s directions. He pulled in 
front of the building Bill indicated and stopped. He waited for Bill to open the 
door, not bothering to look at him.
"Mulder, if you can refute anything I said, go ahead. Otherwise, leave my sister 
alone. Let her have a life before it’s too late for her. Get out of her life and 
let her have a chance." He waited momentarily for a response, then finally 
opened the door. "I’d say see you around, but I hope I don’t. Goodbye Mulder." 
He exited the car and didn’t bother to look back.
Mulder pulled back into traffic, keeping his mind carefully blank. He didn’t 
even admit his destination until he parked in front of his apartment. He was not 
going in to work today. He needed to think, alone. Yeah, alone was better for 
him – safer and saner for everyone.
He called in and left a message with Skinner’s secretary, then laid back on the 
couch.
His mind began cataloging the times he’d put Scully in danger, not just the job 
– him personally. He’d pulled a gun on her in Alaska, he’d shot at her 
reflection at the lake house, he’d nearly killed her twice because of Modell, 
and what about the times he’d left her in danger, left her where she could be 
killed, the damn psychic surgeon was just the latest. There was always Duane 
Barry.
"Mulder? Mulder let me in. I know you’re in there." What was she doing here? He 
didn’t want to see her, not now, maybe not ever. He heard her key in the lock 
and moved in that direction, giving serious thought to fastening the chain. Too 
late.
"Mulder, what’s going on?"
"I don’t want you here Scully. I’d like you to leave."
"No."
"No?" He looked at her for a second, unable to process what she’d said. "It is 
my apartment Scully. If I ask you to leave – "
"I’m not leaving unless you throw me out bodily. And I remind you, I am armed." 
Spunky little bitch, wasn’t she? But he made no comment. When he didn’t move to 
let her in she stepped around him. "Mulder, Skinner said you called in sick. You 
haven’t taken a sick day in six years, even when you should have. Now whether 
you admit it or not, this started last night. Bill said something to you, he 
upset you and that makes me involved."
"No, it doesn’t."
"The hell it doesn’t." He stepped back at the vehemence in her voice. "Why did 
you pick Bill up at Mom’s house this morning?"
"Excuse me?"
"She saw you. She was pleased that you and Bill were getting along. I didn’t 
burst her bubble, but I didn’t buy it. Talk to me Mulder."
"Bill and I were clearing up a few things between us. He made his views known to 
me."
"You do know that his views are not usually my views?"
"Maybe they should be. In his own crude way he does make sense."
Scully stared at him, speechless for a moment. "I know you don’t believe that." 
When he didn’t respond she headed for his couch. She draped her coat over a 
chair and sat, kicking off her shoes. "You might as well get comfortable Mulder. 
I’m not leaving."
He glanced at the door as though contemplating escape, but what good would it 
do? This was his apartment.
"Let’s get this out in the open Mulder. Bill’s opinions do not necessarily 
reflect those of management." He didn’t smile. "Mulder, what did Bill say to 
you?"
"Why don’t you ask Bill?" Anything to get her out of here.
"Because I prefer to speak with you."
"Why?"
"What?" She didn’t really understand the question.
"Why would you prefer to speak with me? I’ve done nothing but screw up your 
life."
She closed her eyes for a moment. "Is that what he said?"
"He didn’t have to, I already knew." Why didn’t she go?
"What else do you already know?"
"This is pointless Scully. Why don’t you just leave?"
"Because if I do you’ll go on believing the garbage Bill fed you. You’ll believe 
that you ruined my life, brought all the ills of the world down on me. You won’t 
believe the truth."
"The truth Scully? I know the truth."
"Bill’s truth?" She watched him turn away from her at that. "You’ve ruined my 
life, right? Without you I’d be a pediatrician or something? Why does no one 
remember I joined the FBI before I met you? I didn’t want a medical practice. 
That doesn’t matter to Bill or you. You both want to blame you for anything 
either of you think has gone wrong in my life. Maybe you two should be best 
friends instead of you and me."
Now he did look up at her. Best friends? She saw that look and just shook her 
head. "I could have left the X-Files a dozen times. Tom offered to help me get 
into the VCS six years ago." She saw his eyes narrow at the thought of that 
little twerp. "Hell, I’ve been thrown off of them two or three times already. I 
could have kept walking. I didn’t, did you notice that?
"Any idea why I didn’t, Mulder? You." He paled at that. Him? She’d stayed 
because of him?
"I don’t know anybody else like you. Look at last night, after all the years 
you’ve had to suffer through your own family dinners on sad occasions, you 
volunteered to come with me, just because you realized I needed you. Do you 
think I’ve forgotten how you rushed to California when I found Emily? I hadn’t 
finished my sentence before I knew you were coming to me. Do you think Bill 
would drop everything, change his plans in thirty seconds to come to me, to 
support me?"
He was staring at her wide-eyed now. Where was she getting this? Nothing he’d 
done was unusual or out of the way. Of course he’d be there when she needed him.
A small smile began to play around her lips, seeing his utter cluelessness about 
how he treated her and how unusual it was. "Do you think I trust anyone else to 
find me when I’m lost, or save me when I’m in danger?"
"But I’m always the one that puts you in danger."
"How so? It seems to me that Skinner and Kersh have actually put me in more 
danger than you have. They assign our cases or at least approve them. Do you 
think I’d be in less danger in the VCS? The work we’ve done with them seemed 
just as hazardous as anything the X-Files has thrown at us.
"Were you a good partner to Lamana?" She could see her question had surprised 
him.
"Yeah, at least he seemed to think so. Why?"
"Well, did you do these kinds of things for him? Did you call him after hours to 
go over cases and ask what he was wearing, hop on a plane to some other 
continent to save his ass, call his mother just to check on her, or . . ."
"What are you talking about, no!"
"Why not? He was your partner, just like me." He was silent at that. "I think 
maybe Mulder, we’ve evolved beyond partners. I’m not sure when it happened, 
maybe after Donnie Pfaster. I don’t know exactly when, but I think I own part of 
you and I think, maybe, you own part of me. I’d like to think you do anyway."
That rendered him speechless for a moment. "Bill said. . . " He stopped, what 
was he doing? He couldn’t say that to her.
"What did Bill say Mulder?"
Shit, she certainly didn’t seem to be leaving anytime soon. She looked like she 
belonged there on his couch, with her shoes off and . . . damn! He looked away 
for a minute; she’d never let it go now.
"He said I was in love with you." Her eyes widened. Oh god, he’d done it now.
"He, uh, he . . . " She swallowed. She was stunned into silence, not even able 
to continue contemplating ways to maim her older brother. "Was he right?" Oh 
god, she’d said that out loud. Oh god!
Well that was a question he hadn’t expected. A laugh maybe, or even a slap, but 
not that question. She actually looked frightened.
"I think maybe he was."
They both seemed to run out of words at that, but were afraid to look away from 
each other. Finally she stood and began to slip on her shoes. 
"Are you . . . please don’t go."
"I don’t know what to say Mulder. This is none of Bill’s business. I can’t 
believe he would involve himself in something like this."
Might as well go for broke. "He said that you felt the same."
At that her face stained bright red. "He had no right, he should never have told 
you about that." Now she had both shoes on and had turned from him.
"Told me about what? Did you really have that conversation with him? Scully 
wait. When I wanted you out of here I needed dynamite, now when I need you to 
stay, I have to pull out the cuffs?"
"Mulder I should go. This isn’t . . . "
"Why didn’t you want me to know about this?"
"I knew it would be too weird. You’d feel obligated to try and feel something 
more for me. I know you care," she hurried on, "that’s obvious, but I didn’t 
want . . . Damn him!"
Mulder put his hand on her upper arm, purposefully not using force to restrain 
her, but holding her nevertheless.
"I think that SOB may have actually done me a favor." He stopped, his eyes wide. 
"Oh shit, Scully, no offense to your mother. I didn’t mean – " He was appalled, 
he would never insult Mrs. Scully.
Instead of being offended she had to chuckle, "None taken. He can be an SOB."
He breathed a sigh of relief. "So where does that leave us Scully?"
"I don’t . . . with a lot to think about."
"Are you . . . are you scared of this?" She nodded, studying her shoes. "Of me?"
"No!" She looked up startled. "No, not of you. I’m more scared of me or us or 
whatever. Mulder, why did you come looking for me yesterday?"
"You didn’t come back and you’d left your phone at the office. That’s not like 
you."
"So you really care about me."
He took a deep breath, shaking his head; "I can’t get away with that today, not 
after talking to Bill. It’s more than that. No, look at me Scully." He lifted 
her chin up to see in her eyes. "I know a way to really tick Bill off."
The gleam in his eyes held her still as he lowered his head to meet her lips, 
softly, barely brushing them with his own. He pulled back to look at her, no 
withdrawal from him, no censure on her face, in fact . . . in fact she was 
rising on her toes to meet him now. He cared and now, because of that . . . that 
brother of hers he knew – she did too. Wait until Bill found out what he’d done 
this time.